Wonderland // McFly

Another Song for the Radio

October 2, 2009

We'd been home for a while and McFly album five had proved to be the most difficult yet.

the boys scrapping the first draft of the album was just the beginning. They've scrapped many songs since that.

It was weird seeing them struggle so much with this album. Usually, they had tons of songs left over that they couldn't use because they already had too many songs on the album. But this was more than an album, I had discovered. McFly were fighting for a position in a new type of industry full of competition that they had once dominated.

It was scary that this was so important.

Jason and the boys worked all through the days, and then they partied all night. I knew they were young, but they were also burning the candle at both ends, and I was starting to wonder how long the wick would last.

But today, things were a little different, luckily. Tom, Harry and Jason were in the studio while I brought Danny and Dougie to a TV station for them to perform an acoustic version of Transylvania. But now, all the boys were being brought back together.

When Danny, Dougie and I walked back in the studio, Tom and Harry were sat near scattered papers, guitars and keyboards.

"Hi guys. We're back." I announce, opening the door to the studio.

"Hi." Harry says quickly. I look around.

"Made any progress?" I ask hopefully, hanging mine, Danny and Dougie's coats on the rack near the door.

"Sort of." Tom says, And Danny and Dougie join their elder band mates.

"Good." I smile. "Can I get you guys anything?"

"Alcohol." Harry says.

"It's eleven in the morning." I say.

"It's five o'clock somewhere." He replies.

"Maybe later." I say, finishing that conversation. "Okay well anyways, I'll be checking emails and such so if you ne-" I stop when I notice something.

There are four of them in the room.

Where the bloody hell was their producer?

"Wh- where's Jason?" I ask. All the boys start to look at each other just like they did before they told me they were scrapping the album they had made in Australia. "Don't do this again. One of you tell me what's going on."

"Lilly, have you ever heard of Dallas Austin?" Harry asks.

"No...what does this have to do with-"

"We're having trouble." Tom starts. "Anyone with eyes could see that."

"It's not that bad." I say, trying to stay positive. For some reason, I felt like something...or someone, was...dying.

"Yes. It's that bad." Danny says, picking up a guitar.

"Dallas Austin has produced songs for some of the biggest artists. Michael Jackson, Madonna, TLC." Harry says.

"Okay...so?"

"We've been talking with Dallas. For a while now." He continues. I don't get it. I raise my eyebrows, as if to signify so.

"We've taken Jason off our fifth album." Tom says.

That's it. They've actually lost their minds.

"Have you lost your minds?" I yell, even though I had just answered that question myself. "Danny and Dougie weren't even here to decide with you, you Pricks!"

"We knew they were doing it. We've been planning it." Dougie looks down.

"Jason is an amazing producer!" I say.

"Yes. He is. And he worked great for our last two albums. But this is a new era. We need something new." Tom says.

"And Fletch just let you do this?" I ask. I swear, I'm going to kill him.

"Fletch...doesn't know yet." Danny says. Of course.

"If you think I'm telling him you've got something else coming." I say. "You said it yourself. It's a new era. I'm done being your guinea pig."

"We didn't say you had to tell him." Tom says, clearly annoyed.

I honestly didn't know what to do. I was freaking out. I felt like I was going to scream. I wanted to be someone else in this moment. I wanted to climb out of my body and walk around in someone else's. Just for a day.

Things had been going smoothly for the past three years, and it was all starting to get unearthed again. Tom being moody, Harry and him bickering, Danny getting nervous for TV interviews and Dougie...well he was always just the quiet one. It was like Wonderland all over, except this time, it was almost as if I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The thought was painful and spine-chilling.

So I was shocked, a bit hurt, though I'm not sure why, and utterly terrified. But I had to trust them. No matter what the boys got themselves into in these past five years, they were known for coming out the other side stronger. If this is what they needed to do to get there, so be it. I wasn't going to stop them. God knows I don't stop them when doing things much worse...

"Okay." I breath.

"Okay?" Danny asks.

"Yeah. You guys know best. It's your music." I say.

"You're not upset?" Dougie asks.

"I am." I start. "But if this is what needs to happen to help you guys...then you gotta do it." Harry nods.

"Thank you, Lilly." Tom says earnestly. I sit, putting my head in my hands. I'm tired and the day has barely started.

"And I'll tell Fletch." I sigh. "That's what I'm here for."

"You don't have to." Tom says.

"But I will."

"You're not a guinea pig." Harry says, and I honestly chuckle.

"I know. I was just mad. And worried." I smile. "You're smart boys though. I need to give you more credit."

"Especially me." Danny smiles.

"Yeah, let's not go crazy, Mush." Harry says, holding up a hand, and all the boys laugh.

That's enough for now.

//