Wonderland // McFly

The Temptation of Sin

March 16, 2011 

"Lilly." Someone shook me from my daze. I look up. 

"Sorry Danny." I smile. 

"You good?" He asks. 

"Yes. Sorry I was just...out of it." I laugh casually. In two days, Dougie would be getting out of the Priory and I was scared. Plus, just when I thought my sleeping situation couldn't get worse, it did. 

The people at the Priory told all of us that for the first month Dougie is out, for the best chance of him succeeding, he shouldn't live alone. He planned to move back in with Tom and Gi afterward. Right now, Tom, Gi, Danny and I were cleaning out his house of all things related to his addiction and depression so that when it gets time for him to move back it'll be all ready for him. 

We found tons of empty bottles of different kinds of alcohol all over the house. Some were hidden, and some were in plain sight, but they were everywhere. 

Danny and Gi worked downstairs while Tom and I were searching through Dougie's room holding big black bin bags already with a few bottles in the bottom. 

"Lilly...you okay?" Tom asks, looking around the bedside table. 

"Yeah." I lie. "I'm okay." I open the bureau and shuffle around through the pairs of socks, pulling out a few miniatures. 

"You're not lying, right?" Tom says skeptically.

"No. Honest." I reply. "How are you doing?" I change the subject. 

"Alright." He says. I nod. 

"How's everything going with the medicine and stuff?" I ask. 

"Pretty okay. I'm still a bit stressed out about Dougie." Tom says. 

"Yeah me too." I say. "I know it's hard after something so traumatic happens-" 

"No, I mean," Tom sighs. "Dougie doesn't want to live at Gi and mine after he gets out." 

"What? Why?" Tom shrugs. 

"He says last time he lived with us, after Australia, he was in such a bad state, he doesn't want to be reminded of it. But I want him to do well when he gets out, just like he's doing now. And the people at the Priory don't want him to live alone."

"I could offer him to stay at mine." I say quickly. Having Dougie under my supervision, at least for a little while, would certainly calm my nerves. Tom makes a confused face. 

"Isn't that weird? He's your ex-boyfriend." He says. I shrug. 

"He's just...Dougie."

****************************

We're all back together cleaning out the living room. There are bottle everywhere, and also other things, but I let Tom take care of that. 

"Lilly, could you get some more bin bags from the garage?" Danny asks. 

"Yup." I respond, putting down the one I was holding and walking through the house towards the garage on the other side. 

When I step in I stop immediately. 

Right in front of me is Dougie's car. The Audi Q7.

But to me, it isn't just a car. I know deep down that this car didn't try and end Dougie's life. It couldn't have. Dougie tried to end his own life. But I didn't want to believe that, so I blamed everything else I could. First I blamed Harry, then I blamed myself...

Now I blame this car. 

It's almost like it had eyes that stared back at me, with it's stupid headlights and it's stupid exhaust pipe. I let out a breath and walked past it slowly to the other side of the garage where the bin bags were.