Catch Me as I Fall Apart (Demi Lovato Fan Fiction)

Chapter 19- That's How You Know

So, this chapter is very emotional for me. The phone call between Christi and Demi, is a phone call me and my best friend had one night. And the note Demi leaves, is pretty much the same note my friend wrote to her family. I cried the whole time writing this chapter, so I hope you like it...

*DEMI POV*

I honestly don't know why I'm breaking so bad. It's scaring me and I know that if it scares me, it will scare Whitney. I don't need her to see this. This is the last thing she needs to see. I can't go back to Timberline Knolls at the moment either. It's all so frustrating.

I set the blade to my skin, holding it there for a second. Then, I let it slice my wrist once again. There's no pain. It's just numbness. I heard my phone ring, so I went to answer it. I wiped up the blood and put on a jacket. 

"Hello?" I answered.

"Demi? Please tell me you didn't cut... please," I heard Christi crying. I just busted out in tears.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. Almost 2 years clean is gone," I cried to her. She was bawling her eyes out too.

"Why? What made you do this?" she sniffed.

"I don't know, Christi. I guess stress? I have 3 interviews within a week, The X Factor, Glee, a tour to finish, a movie to make, Whitney to take care of, and so much more. I don't know how much longer I can take it..." I just wanted to scream, but it was 2 in the morning and Whit was asleep.

"Demi, you have so much to live for. Whitney being one of them. Self harming and purging won't help. Remember what they told you in treatment? They said 'you won't get better if you don't help yourself. Cutting won't take the pain away'. You have to remember that." She didn't stop crying. I looked at my 'Stay Strong' tattoo that was now covered in cuts.

"I'm sorry I let you down, Christi..." I told her.

"You didn't, Demi! I'm just mad that you're ruining yourself and you just don't care. And frankly, I'm sick of always having to fix you!" She lashed out at me. I just felt angry and disappointed at this point.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way! Bye, Christi." I hung up the phone and walked up to my room. I sat on my bed and listened to Christi call. I didn't answer. I let it ring because what was the point? I've heard it all before.

It was getting harder to breathe every second. I hated this feeling and it feels like someone is stabbing me in the chest. I can't do this anymore. I got out a piece of paper and a pencil, crying once more.

"I'm sorry for having write this letter. I really am. It breaks my heart too. I know I'm going to make a lot of people upset, but I also know that you'll move on. It's my time. Whitney, you need to go to Texas. I left money on the kitchen table. Like I said, I'm sorry. Maybe if Christi hadn'tbeen such a bitch I would've stayed, but that's not the case anymore. Stay strong for me? I know you all can do it. You have to break the news to my fans sooner or later. Tell them that coming with me, isn't a right choice. I love you mom, eddie, Dallas, and Maddie. Thank you for supporting me in all I did. Whitney, you're so strong. Please don't give up. I know you'll marry Jordan one day. Stay strong and be brave. Goodbye." I finished writing the not and sat it on my bed. I got up and walked into my bathroom, ready to end it all. I love you.

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*WHITNEY POV*

"Mama?" I called her, crying.

"Whitney, what's wrong baby?" I could barely speak. I couldn't breathe.

"I's D-Demi. She's d-dead..." I sobbed. I heard her voice crack.

"What? How? Whitney, what happened?" she started to whimper, which made me cry even harder. I remember finding her this morning. She was lifeless in her bed.

"She overdosed. I found the bottle next to her. She left a note too. How long will it take you toget here?"

"I should be there in 4 hours. Did you call 911?" she asked me. It was really hard to answer questions.

"Mhm. They're on the way. Jordans going to come too," I wiped my tears even though it was pointless. I would just keep crying anyways.

"Just go to the hospital with her. I'll be there as soon as possible." She hung up and I put the phone down. I looked up to the ceiling, tears streaming down my face. I wanted to think that this was just a dream, that it wasn't real. But it was. All I want is to go in her room, but I couldn't look at her without feeling sick. Someone knocked on the door, so I got up to answer it. Jordan was standing there with puffy eyes. I just feel into his arms. He carried me inside and sat me on the couch. He stroked my hair, trying to calm me down, but it wasn't working.

"Shhh. It's okay," he said.

"No, Jordan! It's not okay! My sister is dead! Whatif the doctors can't get her to wake up?" I cried. Just the thought of Demi being gone forever makes me want to throw up.

"Don't think about that. Think about the positive," he rubbed my back and I cried even harder, which I didn't think was possible. 

"That's really hardto do when your sister is unconscious and doesn't have a pulse."

The doorbell rang and Jordan got up to answer it. The medical team was standing there. 

"She's upstairs. Last room on the left," Jordan told them. The ran inside and disappeared upstairs. I waited on the couch, shakily. I just wanted to see her . Soon, the team came back down with a gurney and Demi's lifeless body. I ran out of tears and I just couldn't cry anymore. I followed them into the ambulance with Jordan tracking behind me. They put her on oxidation and started driving off.

*FLASHBACK*

"You can take everything I have, you can break everything I am like I'm made of glass, like I'm made of paper..." she sand from outside my door. Her voice was telling me to stop cutting. I did and opened the door, crashing into her arms. I sobbed as she shushed me and rubbed my back.

*END*

I looked down at Demi's face and tears streamed down my face. This time, harder.

*FLASHBACK*

I hated this orphanage so much. I pulled out my blade from my back pocket and cut. I when I thought I should stop, I just kept cutting. Soon, I was having a panic attack. I saw Miss Mary and another lady run over to me.

"Whitney, hon, calm down," she tried to stop me. I didn't listen. I just kept cutting. The other lady grabbed my arm, took the blade and held my hands.

"Stop. You're okay. Shhh. Just stop," she said to me.

*END*

I remember that day vividly. She saved my life that day, Every now and then, I looked at Jordan, who was usually looking at me. I grasped his hand and held it tight.

"She'll be okay..."

"I hope so..."

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This was really hard for me to write. Idk. I love you all. Stay Strong