Broken Dreams (Buckin)

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A/N: Soo I had another idea for a buckin story, I hope it won't be so bad. This chapter is pretty short but the following ones will hopefully be longer:)

"Woooohooooo!!!"

With a jump similar to the one he always did during A Head Full Of Dreams I landed in the backstage area of our concert.

The other band members laughed and rolled their eyes at the overexcited ball of joy I always was after the concerts.

Of course they were really happy and hyped as well, but I just seemed to have far more energy than anyone else. Even after singing and jumping around like crazy for two hours I probably could have ran a marathon and maybe I also should instead of annoying people with my overexcitement.

We had just a few minutes left until would would leave with the tour busses again. Away from all the cheerful people, flashing lights and explosions of confetti.

The show tonight marked the ending of the North American leg of our tour.
As soon as I thought about the fact that we wouldn't be playing our usual shows together for quite a while now I started to feel a certain sadness and uneasiness. Suddenly all my usual post-concert excitement and energy seemed to be gone.

Though I knew how much I needed that break, for the sake of my health and family, I had no idea what to do without getting that ecstatic feeling every few nights.

It had become my drug. Every time I started to feel bad about something I could think of the next time I would be doing what I loved most again. Singing and playing for thousands of people, thousands of people singing those words I had once scribbled on a tiny paper back at me. 

Why would I even need to escape from my private life? I had two amazing kids and a gorgeous girlfriend. Everything was the way I always wanted it to be and I thought I had finally become the person I wanted to be. But something just didn't feel right. 

"Hey, what's the matter Chris?" 

I had almost forgotten about my bandmates over loosing myself  in thoughts, my eyes staring out at the lights passing by, hardly taking anything in.

I had to stop being so negative about this. I should be celebrating the end of that part of our tour with my friends instead. After all it was a good thing to get more free time again after those joyful but exhausting months, wasn't it? But somehow I suddenly didn't feel like that anymore. 

Soon we stopped at some food place. 

Usually I would join Guy with drinking at least a tiny bit but I was anything but happy thinking about the next few months. Something had to change but I didn't know what or how.