Broken Dreams (Buckin)

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A/N: How have you all been? This chapter is kind of short but I wanted to write something again and also it felt right like this. I'll update more often again now cause I don't have school anymore!

"Chris?"

Jonny looked around the hospital room in confusion.

"Where am I?"

"You're at the hospital. Do you remember anything that happened?"

"Well I remember being on the plane to meet you but... after that my memory is blank."

Jon blinked again in the evening sun shining in through the window.

"Is this the hospital?"

"The plane you were on Jonny- it crashed. And then they brought you here together with the other victims."

"Oh my god...", Jonny whispered shocked and looked down on his body that was covered in bandages.

"You had a surgery. But the doctors said everything will be alright again. You were lucky.", Will said next to me. "Are you in pain?"

"No... No I guess they gave me painkillers."

"I'm so sorry Jonny. I know this is all my fault. Sorry that I was such an idiot the last few weeks."

"Chris what are you even talking about? How could this be your fault?"

"Well, I was so stupid, and egoistic, and making you worry all the time... And if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been on that plane."

"Oh Chris...", I could see his gaze soften and his eyes were filled with pain. Pain because he knew I blamed myself for all this, because I felt guilty for not having been good the last few weeks. I knew it probably was idiotic, everyone had bad times every now and then, but I just couldn't help feeling like I was always being nothing but a load to everyone. And probably I was making everything even worse with what I was saying.

Jonny reached out to hug me, which kind of failed because of all the bandages and tubes on his body. So he ended up just putting his right, uninjured arm around my waist in a movement that would normally have looked pretty funny.

"Please Chris, please just don't blame yourself for any of what's been happening. This is not your fault, okay? Any plane I was traveling on could have crashed. And everyone feels bad after a breakup, you're not a bad person for having had a few hard weeks. We're here for you."

It felt so wrong that Jonny was the one comforting me while he was laying in a hospital bed, covered in injuries and bandages. But somehow his words made me feel better nevertheless. I had kind of forgotten about my own problems with all the trouble obviously, but this reminded me why  loved Jon so much. Not that I really needed a reminder of that.

A tear rolled down my cheek. My world had just been completely broken down, yet I felt a tiny spark of hope for the first time in weeks. Jonny would be okay again. We would figure things out somehow, even though I could only imagine the pile of work that would be awaiting us... Delaying the rest of the tour, telling our fans what had happened... But somehow we'd manage to get all these things done, right now the most important thing was for Jonny to get healthy again.

And somehow I would also figure out my personal problems, even if it meant that I had to accept that Jonny would never be more than my best friend. I just wanted him to be alive, and happy.