Broken Dreams (Buckin)

•23•

A/N: I really can't write songs.

"Uff"

Jonny let himself  drop onto my sofa.

"I told you we could have stopped work earlier!"

"But I've been gone for so long! I missed working with you guys so much, even if it's just organizational stuff."

"We don't have to play tonight, you know. We can also just order some food and watch TV."

Of course playing with Jonny was what I had been looking forward to most all day, but I knew Jonny was exhausted and I'd rather not play together than know Jonny couldn't enjoy it.

"Of course we'll play! That's what I've been waiting for all day!!"

I grinned. He had been waiting to play with me all day too. 

Jonny blushed when he realized how overexcited he sounded.

"But first, let's order Pizza."

"You know you gotta look out for your health, Mr. Buckland.", I joked imitating the nurse from the hospital.

"Do you know for how long I've eaten nothing but weird hospital food? I need the cheesiest and greasiest Pizza ever to make up for it."

I picked up my acoustic that was leaning against the couch and started making up some lyrics to to the melody of Politik.

"Give me Pizza, carbs and grease,

cheese in strings, cheese on bread

Don't forget the extra cheese..."

I could have gone on forever but we both died laughing.

"You're such a twat Chris."

"Are you kidding me? This is gonna be our next hit."

"At least now we're singing about food not deodorant. Seems like we made a bit of progress the last 20 years."

"It's only thanks to you Jonny!"

Jonny and I didn't need to get drunk to behave like complete idiots, it's always been like that. Somehow Jonny's mere presence got me feeling high.

"Let's actually order food now. You got me feeling even hungrier Chris!"

15 minutes later we were both sitting on the sofa with two paper boxes of Pizza and some crappy program turned on on the TV like we had still been in our 20s.

"You have tomato sauce on your chin Jonny!", I laughingly pointed out to my bandmate.

"Oh really?"

Jonny tried removing it with his finger but instead got even more into his face.

"Oh Jonny", I laughed. "You made it even worse! Let me help you."

I gently removed the tomato sauce with my own finger, slightly touching his lips while I did so.

They are so soft

What I wouldn't have done to be able to kiss those lips, to feel them touching my own lips, my entire body.

"Is the tomato sauce so fascinating?", Jonny laughed.

How long had I been staring at his perfect lips? Obviously for too long.

I leaned back a bit, laughing awkwardly.

"No, you are Jay.", I chuckled.

The god thing about my friendship with Jonny was that I could make an allusion to my feelings for him, but it would always just pass as a friendly joke. Hugging or kissing on stage, or me telling him he looked sexy had just always been part of our friendship and others - including Jonny - didn't see anything more than just cute bromance behind it. I smiled inside thinking of how literal I meant all of the things I said or did to him. On the one hand I loved being able to do these sorts of things with him without it seeming really awkward, but on the other hand it was painful knowing it would never mean the same thing to him as it did to me.

Jonny finished his last bite of Pizza and exclaimed: "Let's play!!", like an overexcited child on Christmas.

"Can't contain your excitement, can you?"

Jonny blushed and I switched of the TV. Then we both sat down on the sofa with our acoustic guitars, playing random songs we loved at the moment, or unfinished songs we had written ourselves.

It must have been well past midnight when I noticed Jonny yawning more and more frequently beside me.

"Tired uh?"

"Mmh."

Jonny gently laid his guitar down onto the floor next to us and leaned against the back of the sofa. I continued playing quietly, knowing I would not be able to sleep anyway. Especially not when I had the option to watch the handsome guitarist I was so in love with sleeping next to me.

Jonny fell asleep even faster with me playing quiet songs, he had always found my voice really calming. Soon I felt his head falling further and further to the side, eventually resting on my shoulder. He smelled so good, so Jonny-like. I laid my guitar down and put my arm around my bestfriend. I could stay like this forever, just Jonny and me, no responsibilities, no one judging us. Just like it had been back in the old days, before we had been famous. Even though we had grown older and more experienced in music, and life in general, some things would always stay the same, especially between Jonny and me.