Parseltongue is the language of snakes. Being a parselmouth (like me) means you can speak it. This is not an ability you can fully gain. You are just born with it. It comes naturally to me.
Parseltongue doesn't just work on snakes, it can work on any cold-blooded vertebrae, except for fish (are fish cold blooded?). Lizards, Toads, Salamanders, and other cold blooded animals like that can be spoken to in parseltongue.
The Parseltongue spoken in Harry Potter is completely inaccurate. Example below⬇️
Real parseltongue requires no moving of mouths. The language is sent by brain waves signals expressing emotions. You know that time in the spring where you just get weird, sexual thoughts in your head while you are walking outside? That means you are blessed with the parselmouth ability and there is a cold blooded animal near by who are exchanging thoughts of mating with you. NO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!!! They don't want to get it on with you! They are looking for someone of the opposite sex and same species near by to mate with so they can boost the population.
One time I heard a loud screaming from outside and what sounded like skidding brakes while my dad was at the neighbor's house and I ran outside and found my dad at the neighbor's place and he said he heard nothing. I got scared because I thought I had schizophrenia but then I realized, some little cold blooded animal might have been hurt.
My first experience as a parselmouth was when I was 2 1/2 years old. I was walking with my dad and godparents when I found a small green snake on the side of the road and I picked it up, thinking it was a ribbon. Its slithered through my fingers and never bit me. My dad told me what it was and we let it go. Ever since that day I can successfully communicate with snakes through my mind and I've never been bitten.
Now welcome to the random shit that is my life!
Picture not mine
Caption: u foking wot m8?
YOU ARE READING
The parseltongue handbook
RandomA normal day in the life of a parselmouth. Learn how to use this power to your means and take in the psychology of the average reptile. Also there is tons of shitty randomness in here from a real parselmouth's perspective and everyday life :)
