Those Eyes (Camren, Camaustin fanfic)

Chapter 11: Time Flies

Camila's POV:

Its been two months already. I lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling, and when I close my eyes I still see her. I still feel her. I still need her. "I talked to Dinah." I hear her voice in my head and the flashback begins. I walked into our room that dreadful afternoon and saw Lauren packing up her things. I remember waking up that day, my soul hurt like it had never done before, I remember the sound of us crying ourselves to sleep, I remember how she told me she really loved me and I didn't say anything back. That morning I could barely open my eyes. I looked around and I didn't see her. I felt horrible. My head was killing me, and I couldn't stop thinking about Lauren. She had confessed her love, and I was too scared to do anything about it. Then I remembered Austin got out of the hospital that day and I had to go pick him up. When I got to his hospital room I saw him getting his things ready to go home. "Hey beautiful, I'm so happy you're here." He told me and hugged me. I could barely force a smile. "Lets go home!" He added and kissed me. Lauren's face invaded my thoughts once again and I felt like I was about cry. I pushed him gently and he smiled at me. "I'm the luckiest man in the planet, I love you baby." He said grinning. "I love you too." I responded holding back my tears and thinking about her lips on mine. I had lunch with Austin that day, but I couldn't eat anything. He didn't even notice something was wrong with me. When I got back to my apartment I saw her again. I had been fearing this moment all day. She was wearing black shorts, a hoodie and a beanie, and damn she looked beautiful. I walked in and she ignored me completely, she was too busy putting her clothes on a suitcase. "What are you doing?" I asked her softly. "I talked to Dinah." She answered without looking at me. "She agreed to move here." She finally added and my heart broke. "You don't have move out Lo, there's..." "Don't do this Mila, please." She interrupted me and finally looked at me with her beautiful green eyes. Did she just call me Mila? I felt sick. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I hadn't eaten anything all day, but the pain made me sick. A hand on my shoulder made me shiver. Lauren picked up my hair and rubbed my back softly. I started crying like a baby. "I owed you." She told me with a forced smile on her face and then she picked up her suitcase. "Goodbye Camzi, please take care and be strong baby, do it for me." She said leaving our room. That's the last time she called me baby.


Lauren's POV:

The last two months have been hell for me. I never thought living could be this hard. I have been barely sleeping, and when I do I have these fucking nightmares driving me crazy. She's always there, telling me she hates me, that I'm a fat cunt, and I deserve to die. And then she just dissapears, and that's the part that hurts the most. I remember the day everything blew up, the day my life turned into fucking hell. I woke up early that morning, my pillow was still wet. My eyes hurt so much, and everything was spinning. I looked at Camila's bed and she was sleeping like an angel. She looked so freaking beautiful. I got out of bed and walked up to hers. Kneeling beside her I held her hand hoping she didn't wake up and intertwined our fingers. A smile formed slightly on her face and I could finally breath again. Was she feeling me? I kissed her forehead softly and then walked to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror I realized I looked like hell, my eyes were red and swollen from all the crying. That morning I woke up with my mind made up, I had to forget about her, even if that destroyed my soul. I put on some clothes and walked to Dinah, Normani and Ally's place and knocked on their door. "Hey Lo, come in!" Normani opened the door and I forced a smile. Dinah and Ally were sitting in the living room and I sat next to them. "So, what's up? Where's Mila?" Ally asked me smiling, and I tried to hide how much it hurt to hear her name. "She's sleeping. Look guys I need to ask you a favour and I need you not to ask any questions, please." I told them and a tear streamed down my cheek, but I wiped it off quickly with my thumb. "Of course Lo, whatever you need. Is everything okay?" Dinah answered with a sympathic smile holding my hands. "I need to move in with you." I told them taking a deep breath and they looked at me confused. "What? Is everything okay with Camila?" Normani asked me. "I said no question guys, please." My voice cracked and they nodded. "I can move in with Camila." Dinah suggested and I hugged her. "Thank you D, I love you."
When I got back to my apartment Camila wasn't there. I remember laying down on her bed, her pillow had her scent, and I slowly and peacefully fell asleep thinking about Camila. The dream I had about us felt so real. She walked up to me, held my waist and kissed me pasionately. "I'm in love with Lauren, I have always been." She whispered in my ear and played with my hair. I wish I had never woken up, but I did a couple of hours later. I started packing up my things when the door opened. Camila walked in. Even though she looked broken, her beauty left me speechless. I couldn't look at her, it hurt too much. Explaining her why I was leaving was hard, but I had to do it and she seemed to understand. Walking out of that room broke my fucking useless heart, I couldn't breath, I couldn't think properly, but I kept walking without looking back. That was the beginning of the end of my happiness.


Camila's POV:

60 days is a long time. We have had to pretend we are okay. The girls know something is wrong, but they stay out of it. We still see eachother when we have dinner together, we perform together and we have to do interviews together, but other than that we barely talk. I feel so lonely. I mean, Austin is there, but I don't love him, and I never will. He doesn't know me like she does, he doesn't know I've cried myself to sleep every fucking night for the last two months, he doesn't even know I'm going through the hardest time of my miserable life. Lauren is my soulmate, she was my everything, and living without her gets harder everyday. Every now and then we look at eachother, her eyes still leave me mezmorized. Sometimes she smiles, but I haven't seen her laugh since that horrible night. I try to pretend I'm alright, but I've never been this miserable. I miss my best friend, I'm a freaking depressed mess without her.


Lauren's POV:

Pretending we are friends sucks. Living sucks, to be completely honest. I need her, its been too long since we've had a real talk. I need her advice, her words of encouragement. I need to hear her laugh, to feel her embrace, to hold her hand. I'm completely lost without her. I'm nothing but a fucking disaster. Getting out of bed in the morning gets harder every day. Thinking about living makes me exhausted. I'm out of breath all of the time, my chest hurts and I can't eat or sleep. I don't know if I'll be able to handle this for much longer, I'm so weak. Everynight I pray that the next morning I have the strenght to carry on with my life, but I feel like not even God is there for me. I have nothing.