I Should Feel: Hopeful

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I should be full of hope.

I should be excited to face a new day.

Instead I'm hopeless.

I feel as if I can't do anything right.

I feel as if there will be no end.

I should feel any type of good emotions.

Dear me,

Today was long, it was a Wednesday, half way through the week. We're going on Christmas break starting tomorrow, two weeks away from the judgemental people can be a win win for me. But today, today was the worst day of all. He wasn't here, no one protected me as I got shoved into a locker for hours. No one noticed my cries for help, not even the teachers. This is supposed to be a safe place. Once I was finally let out the group of kids were dragging me by my hair and tossed me outside into the snow. It wasn't like I wanted to be saved, but I didn't want to be hit and shoved anymore. I'm counting the days down until I can leave this terrible, terrible place. There's no end to the pain, but you deserve the pain; you can never do anything right. Is what runs through my head each day as I get beaten, insulted and left alone. Whoever said "Oh things will get better, you just have to stay strong " was spitting out bull. Everything gets worse, nothing gets better.

I should be full of hope.

I should be excited to face a new day.

Instead I'm hopeless.

I feel as if I can't do anything right.

I feel as if there will be no end.

I should feel any type of good emotions.

But it's all just bad.

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