save me | yoonseok

Fourteen.

(This chapter may contain violence. You've been warned!!!)

Yoongi pov.

I walked around his room and looked at impressive collection of books he had. Some of them were about flowers, some of them were fantasy, autobiographies, textbooks that used for studying with Bunny. When I wanted to pull one book, a slim black leather notebook fell down from the shelf. It looked personal and I really didn't want to open it, but something in my head told me I should. I placed the book on his desk and grabbed the notebook from the ground. I sat on his bed and opened it, carefully. I was right, it was his diary. 

His first sentence was: "I remember how it hurt, looking at him hurt." 

From the first sentence, I just couldn't stop reading.

29th september, 2015

He's someone who makes me feel special. I've never felt like this before. After many ups and downs, he's come to my life like a miracle. He bought me expensive gifts and never wanted anything for in return. I felt bad about it because I can't do the same for him. He deserves the world. His amazing smile he gives me everytime he sees me. His beautiful eyes and kind words. His hugs, cologne, everything. 

He loves me, or I thought he did. 

In the end, he just used me. Like everyone. 

2nd october, 2015

I woke up somewhere in cheap motel. My body hurt and I saw blood on the bed sheet. I looked at my chest and legs and they were covered by bruises, scratches and burned wheels of cigarettes. I couldn't move. Everything hurt me. Suddenly, all the memories from last night came back. 

"Why did you talk to him? Didn't you see his face? You belong to me, Hoseok. Only me!" he shouted at me and pushed me to the ground. I felt numb. Then another slap, another kick. I began to cry because I couldn't defend myself, he was stronger than me. 

"Please stop." I begged him but he didn't listen to me. 

"Shut the fuck up!" he said and kicked my stomach again. Then, he tied my hands behind my back. I shouted at him to stop. I begged him. He enjoyed my helplessness, my pain with a stupid smirk on his face. He wasn't my boyfriend, he was a moster. He blindfolded me and then, the worst part began. Scratches and the smell of cigarettes. I kicked him, I tried to push him away from me but I couldn't. I screamed but nobody heard me.

I was raped by someone who I thought he loves me. 

"If you tell this to anybody, I'll kill you. Do you understand me?" he growled and started strangling me. I fainted. 

I began to cry again. Why has he done it to me? Why? What have I done to him? I only talked with my old friend. Have I been a bad boyfriend? Have I?

15th october, 2015

He disappeared quickly like a smoke of a cigarette from my life. He's moved from our town and nobody has ever heard about him again. He was like a ghost, like a ghost of human who has never existed. I shut myself from the world. My only reason that I stayed alive is my sister. I couldn't hurt her. She keeps me alive. She is the reason why I fight with my demons. 

28th of september, 2016 

I met the guy named Agust-D. According to his profile, he looks nice. He's got something that cought my eye and I don't know what it is yet, but I'm ready to find it out. 

- btw. Also, he was the first one who didn't pity me. 

"Please tell me that you haven't read it all." he said and again, I saw in him the broken boy. 

"I'm sorry." I mumbled with my eyes full of tears.