𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

never lasts forever

SHAWN MENDES IMAGINES
→ never lasts forever ←

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I've never felt more disgusted in myself than ever. Dark circles rested under my eyes, my eyes were a hard and dull blue color, and my lips were a pale, chapped pink.

Im worthless
No one cares about me
I have no one
Everyone leaves me
I have no place in this world
I'm never gonna be good enough

Negative thoughts spilled into my mind and tears flooded my eyes. I'm messed up. I'm a monster. A monster who cuts. A monster who wants to kill herself.

"Y/n. Are you in here? Your new counselor is here to meet you." One of the mental hospital employee said, knocking on the door.

I splashed cool water on my face before opening the door and laying down back in bed where I have usually been for the past four years.

Four years. Four whole years I've been stuck in this place with people who constantly check on me every twenty minutes to make sure I haven't tried to kill myself.

My parents don't even care. They are the reason why I'm in this place. I grew up without my birth father and had to deal with a step father for my life. As soon as him and my mom got married about four and a half years ago, I wasn't happy at all.

My step father filled my mothers head that I wasn't normal and had some disorder. One day I went somewhere with the both of them and that place was here. My mother just dumped me here without any love or affection mother and daughters have.

"Mom! You can't be serious! I thought you love me!" I sobbed, fighting against the mental hospital employees trying to break free from the grasp. "I'm not crazy!"

"Sweetheart I do love you. This is why I brought you here. To help you get better. I know you don't like your step father but this is what's best."

I stared at her with anger. I clenched my fists, kneeing one of the security in the lower abdomen and elbowing one in the side of the face.

I stomped toward my so called mother, and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"If you really knew me, you'd understand the shit I feel. I'm never considering you my mother ever again you sick bastard!" And with that, my fist collided with my mothers cheek which sent her stumbling back.

And that was the last time I knew I'd ever see her again.

"Hi. I'm Shawn your new counselor." A tall, muscular, and chestnut brown haired boy said, coming into my room with a smile on his face. I stared blankly at him, with no emotion at all.

He sat on a chair beside my bed. "Would you like to tell me about yourself, y/n?" He asked in a gentle tone.

I ignored him, keeping my eyes on him. Something inside me, made me comfortable around him. It was as if I could trust him with anything.

"There's nothing interesting about me." I whispered, breaking away my stare off him.

After a few hours of getting to know each other, I felt myself starting to grow closer to him. I slowly began to open up to him. How I feel. And about my past. Two things I never talked to anyone about. Not even my past six counselor's that tried to help me before.

"It sucks. Feeling like you have no one. Like you aren't good enough for someone. I'm scared of letting myself grow close to someone. I'm afraid of losing someone I truly and deeply care about. But who cares, right? No one does. No one cares," I spilled my feelings to him, letting tears drop from the corners of my eyes.

"I wasted time on people who wouldn't dare to give half of it back." I whispered. "I just want someone to love me. To care for me."

When I looked over at Shawn, he had hurt in his eyes. He came over and sat beside me on the bed, wrapping his arms around me, making me feel protected and safe.

"I know how you feel, trust me. But the pain doesn't last forever, sweetheart. You don't want someone to love you or to care for you. You need someone," he told me, "and that someone is going to be me."

I looked him in the eyes. Should I trust him with this? Should I push him away like I do with everyone else?

I don't know what to do. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to feel alone again.

"I-I can't let you love me. You are going to end up leaving I-" he cut me off, taking my hands in his.

"Darling I'm not going to be the one to hurt you. I'm going to be the one to love you, to protect you, and to show you that there is still good people in the world. You just haven't given me a chance to prove I care." He said, never breaking eye contact with me.

I felt a smile form on my face. No it wasn't a fake smile. It was a real smile. And it felt good to smile. It made me... happy.

I don't remember the last time I was happy. But it sure felt good to know I finally had someone again. I know he's the right one.

If I knew he wasn't the right one, he wouldn't have stared me in the eyes saying all those things like he did. I believe that he truly means what he said.

The one thing I knew about me opening up to him was going to take a bit more time. And he said he was willing to take it slow and wait for me to become more comfortable around him.

And he was one of a kind. He was the only one willing to wait. But most of all, he is right about something. The pain, never lasts forever.

__________________________

HEYYYYYYY SO TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY?! hellllll yeahhhhhhh

ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVE THIS IMAGINE I THINK IT IS SO INTENSE AND MEANINGFUL AND UHHHHHHH

ALSO THE WALKING DEAD IS FUCKING BACK AND IM SO SCARED TO SEE WHO DIES IF ITS DARYL IMMA THROW HANDS