𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

unsent letters

SHAWN MENDES IMAGINES
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Dear Shawn,
I never knew how hard it would be. I never knew how much I would need someone the way I need you. I know you want absolutely nothing to do with me. But I wish I could understand why. I wish I would understand how everything got so messed up as fast as it did. I really thought our feelings were mutual. That you truly felt the same way as I do for you.

I am constantly thinking about you. When I wake up in the morning, I think of you. Through the day I think of you. When I go to bed, I think of you. You're always on my mind. Always. And it's driving me insane being away from you. Not being able to hug you, kiss you, see you, and hear your voice. It hurts so bad to be away from you. I never knew the value of a moment until it became a memory.

When I close my eyes at night, I am haunted of the beautiful memories we created in the three years we were together. I'm haunted by the warm feelings of your lips on mine and your hands on my hips. I'm haunted by the beautiful look in your eyes you gave me every time we shared a glance. I remember we had a whole bunch of blankets and pillows sprawled across on the balcony of your condo and we laid underneath the stars, sharing deep conversations about what we wanted in life.

I remember you told me that I was the only one for you. Forever and always. You told me you could never love anyone else the way you love me. You told me no matter what happens, you'll always be waiting for me. You'll be ready for me. Now that I'm thinking of everything, I'm starting to believe otherwise. And I just wish I could get reassurance from you again. To feel safe with you again. I wish it would all be okay. With you.

Love,
Y/n

✧✧✧

Dear y/n,
Here's to another letter that I don't have the heart to send to you. To tell you how much of a mess I am without you. To say how much I still need you. That I still want to be with you. I can't live like this, darling. I can't live without you. Each day it gets harder and harder being away from you. I'm slowly tearing apart. I feel so empty, so lost. I hate feelings like this. I hate being away from you, I hate not being with you.

I sleep on your pillow every night. It still smells like you. It makes me feel like you're still here with me. But it's not the same - you aren't really here with me. And that kills me inside. I miss the way we used to cuddle and stay up late just to talk and enjoy each other's company. I miss the way you used to curl up against me in the middle of the night because you were cold. I miss being over protective of you. I miss seeing your contagious smile. I miss everything about you. I miss you.

I want you back. I need you back. I should've never let you leave that night. I should've went after you. To fix everything. Every day I regret not chasing after you. It's the biggest regret in my life. I really hate myself for everything. For what I did. For hurting you. I know you will never forgive me. But every time I write these letters, I really want to send them. And when I go to mail them, I just can't because I get so scared you want nothing to do with me. That you're just gonna ignore me. I just need to fill the whole in my heart. And you make me complete. You make me whole. And I'm always going to love you.

Much love,
Shawn