𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

journal

SHAWN MENDES IMAGINES
→ journal ←

Dear Shawn,
       If you are reading this, you were meant to. I know you've been looking for all the answers as to why I did what I did—why I ended my life. You see, I've been in the dark for so long. But when I met you, you showed me that there is a purpose to this cruel life. You've showed me that there is light in this world. But I was still struggling in front of you.

I have never felt so in love with someone as much as I'm in love with you. You were the best thing that has happened to me. The problem was you didn't understand.

You didn't understand how badly I needed to open up to you. To spill out everything to you instead of keeping everything locked up inside me and pretending my feelings aren't there. I needed to tell you everything. But I was afraid.

I was afraid you'd leave me once you saw how messed up I was. I didn't want to ruin your career in anyway by showing you how depressed I was. How much of a broken girl I was.

There are so many other girls who have it pulled together and are happy. Who are better than me. You deserve someone to make you happy. I didn't want to tear you down with everything I was going through.

You may be wondering why you were meant to read this. Well, here goes nothing. You deserve to know the truth.

Almost everyday at school people would look at me differently. They would whispered to their friends, stare, and just think of me as someone who doesn't fit in. Who isn't worth it.

Things got even worse when we got together. People started to find out about our relationship. That's when things went downhill. Everyone would bully me, tell me you don't love me, I'm ugly, and I deserve to kill myself.

I tried showing I didn't care what they had to say. Because in the end, I had you. Someone who makes me really happy. I tried showing you I was strong.

But I was slowly dying. Everything was killing me. I realize I didn't deserve you. I didn't deserve your love, your care, or anything you were there to give me. I didn't deserve that.

I started to believe that you didn't love me. When we would get into those arguments, it was because of my anxiety and depression. It wasn't really me who was arguing. I fought because I didn't want to lose you. Because I was afraid you'd leave me.

Just know that I love you so much. I always have and always will.

-y/n

__________

AUTHORS NOTE. awww I like this one. I was thinking I could turn dis into another book lolol.

Okay so I've been working on a lot of stories for you guys and I've been literally working so hard on all of them. Most of you seem to really love "Dark & Dangerous" which makes me really happy so thank you guys.

But there's something about this one that makes me wanna turn it into an actual book. Should I? Comment if I should.

The books I have been working on are called:
"Acid Rain"
"Reckless"
"Breaking"
"Journal"

Which one do you think I should publish? If you are unsure comment if I should do a short imagine of one and yall can't vote? Please let me know. See you guys soon!