SHAWN MENDES IMAGINES → want to forget, want to remember ←
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THE GIRL LOOKED DOWN AT THE CITY FROM THE TOP BALCONY, WATCHING THE BUSY HIGHWAY AND THE CITY LIGHTS TURN ON. She brought the champagne glass to her lips, taking a sip of the golden pale liquid, ignoring the bitter sensation that burn her throat due to the alcohol. The wind lightly blew her brunette hair to the side, hitting the bare skin of her shoulder. She was dress in a long, rose gold silk dress that had thin straps and made her show a bit a cleavage. She looked effortlessly beautiful. Any guy would be lucky to have her.
Her eyes glanced down at the wedding ring on her finger, watching it shine through the light hitting the diamonds. She tilted her head to the side as she examined it, replaying all of the memories of walking down the isle, saying her vows, and sharing the kiss with the love of her life that sealed the new marriage. Everything was perfect. Now almost four years later, she doesn't understand where she went wrong. Or why she was blaming herself for a mistake that wasn't her fault. Though she couldn't help but to feel some sort of guilt. She had no reason to feel that way. But she did. Guilt of not being enough for him.
She sighed, taking another sip of her drink. When she felt a presence behind her, she refused to turn around and to look at him. She refused to look into his eyes and to fall for his charm again. She refused to look into those beautiful caramel eyes because she knew if she did, she would forgive him. Again. But the moment she felt his warm hand on the skin of her shoulder, she instinctively turned her body around, and looked at him.
Her eyes scanned his face that was built with features so beautiful that almost anyone who looked at him, they would fall head over heels. His hair was utterly soft and filled with a few curls, with one specific curl she instantly loved. The one that always fell down his forehead. She would always run her fingers through his soft, brown locks. His eyes were filled with a mixture of love, regret, and sorrow, making the usual shine in his eyes disappear completely. Then she studied his lips. The lips that would always leave marks on her skin whenever they made love, the lips that would kiss her forehead which made her feel safe and loved. The lips that were so soft and perfect against hers, the feeling was as addicting as a drug and she could never get enough.
"You look so beautiful, darling." He mumbled, his arm sneaking around her back and pulling her against his tall, muscular body. "I'm glad you decided to come tonight. I've been needing to talk to you."
"Well I did promise I wouldn't miss your birthday. I'm not the type to break a promise," She paused, glaring up into his eyes. "Or vows."
His expression dropped and his arm went back to his side. He looked down at the ground in guilt and shame, licking his lips as he shook his head. "We can fix this right? I can fix this. I will fix this. I p–promise."
His lips trembled as he felt his chest ache, feeling an unbelievable amount of pain. Pain for hurting the one he loves most. Pain for breaking his vow. Pain for destroying the one thing that meant everything to him. With one mistake, everything was ruined and shattered into millions of pieces that couldn't not be repaired.
"We can't fix this, Shawn. There is no fixing what has been broken." She looked away, turning her back to him as she looked back at the city. She knew if she looked at him, she wouldn't be able to end it for herself. She would stay for him. And she didn't want that. She didn't need that pain. No one does.
"Say it." He whispered, his eyes burning in the back of her head. "Please, just say it so I know it's real."
"You are the perfect example of everything I want to forget. But you are also the one I want to remember. I fell in love with you so quickly and so hard. It's like the moment I saw you, I knew it was you all along. You were the one. Because of the way you stood out among everyone else. You filled the dark crevice of my entire soul and filled every void that I had. And you knew how horrible the world had been to me so far. How much I had to fight to keep going. God, you touched and kissed me and my body and almost created me. Like I was your canvas. That is what it was like." She said, making his heart feel heavy with every word that came out of her mouth. "That's all the stuff I want to forget."
It was silent for a few moments, the only sound was his heavy breathing as he was on his knees, fighting back the tears that were seconds away from spilling. She licked her lips, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath, preparing for the heartbreaking words that was gonna make this all even more real.
"And the stuff I want to remember," She turned around, looking down in his pleading eyes, tears streaming down his splotchy, red cheeks. "Is the pain you caused me. Everything you said you wouldn't be, is what you became. That's what I want to remember. So I won't make the same mistake again in the future."
Sliding the diamond ring off from her finger as well as the wedding band, she crouched down in front of him, taking his hand in hers. Placing the rings in the palm of his hand, she locked lips with his, sharing one last kiss. For closure. For her and for him.
"I loved you, Shawn. I loved you so much that it hurt." She stood up and began to walk away before she stopped, looking over her shoulder. "I'll always love you."
"But I'm done. You're the one I want to forget and the one I want to remember."
