𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

why

SHAWN MENDES IMAGINES
→ why ←

I sit at the bar, downing every alcoholic drink I ordered. Drink after drink. Hour after hour. I felt myself letting loose. Letting myself forget. Everywhere I looked, I saw her face. And when I saw her face my heart beats faster and my stomach swarms with butterflies.

I regret leaving her. Each day more regret fills my bones and veins, driving me insane. I want her back. I need her back. But she doesn't want me anymore. She doesn't need me. She hates me. After what I did, how could she ever forgive me.

Someone took a seat beside me and from the corner of my eye, I saw a girl with light brown hair and green eyes. She was wearing dark ripped jeans with a white shirt and a leather jacket. She ordered something strong and I looked straight ahead as soon as she turned to me which made her let out a laugh.

"What brings you here tonight? From your face, it looks like you broke up with someone you loved with your entire soul." She said, taking a sip of her drink.

I turned to her, raising my eyebrows. "Is it really that obvious?"

She shrugged her shoulders, tracing the tip of the glass with her finger. "Well when you come to bars often, I guess you always see people who are meeting new people or you see heart broken people who are drinking away their feelings. And their facial expressions tend to give it away."

I looked down, swallowing the rest of the contents in my cup. A silence erupted between us and I rubbed my face, a sigh leaving my lips. I ordered another drink. I knew I should've stopped ordering more but I couldn't. I kept thinking of her when I didn't want to.

"So who's the girl who broke your heart?" She asks, turning her entire body and putting her full attention on me.

The same way she used to do when we were together.

"She didn't break my heart. I broke her. And that's what destroyed me." I told her, bring my eyes to meet hers.

She pulled her eyebrows together in confusion. "That's deep. But what do you mean you broke her?"

"I left her. I lied to her. I told her I didn't love her anymore. Which wasn't fucking true. I loved her so much. I love her so much. I don't think I could love anymore as much as I love her." I told her, looking back down at my hands.

"Why did you leave her?" She asks me. "If you loved her, if you love her still, why did you leave her?"

"Because," I paused, taking a deep breath. "Honestly I don't know. I wasn't good for her. I kept messing up. I kept hurting her. I hurt her a lot and sometimes, I think I meant to. Hurt her. I fucking began hating myself for it. I hate myself for it. I'll always hate myself for doing what I did to her. But I just couldn't stop. I love her. I love everything about her.

I loved the way she stared at me when she knew I wasn't paying attention. I loved the way she stared at me with her bright green eyes that were glistening with tears. I knew she was so in love with me. But I took advantage of that. I was extremely toxic for her. But I did love her. I still do love her. A part of me always will love her.

She deserved so much more. She never deserved what I did to her. She's the most precious girl I've ever met. So caring and kind and gentle. She's absolutely beautiful. When I left her, I swear the look on her face destroyed me. It fucking killed me. The cracks in her heart, I swear, were visible through her eyes I always got lost in. You could see how much pain she was in. I'll always regret how much pain I put her in. I love her. I'll always love her." I poured my heart and soul to this girl I met like five minutes ago.

But it felt good talking about why I was here. And why I feel the way I feel.

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AUTHORS NOTE. wow I really love this imagine. Sad one but I love it so much. I got this idea somewhere on Pinterest. Hope you guys love it!