way up • stephen curry [au]

xxxii. best i ever had

lemme just say arzaya is a wreck so she cant handle her emotions yet. give my girl some time 😭

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Arzaya

For the first time in my life, I dread going to Lit class.

And it wasn't just because he'd be there. But because it'd be a solid slap to my face to attend a class that brought us together.

I probably looked hideous, judging by the looks I was getting from people. My eyes were so puffy, my hair was a mess, and I hadn't tried to dress nicely at all. What was the purpose? Right. I didn't have to try and look good anymore.

And for the whole time I sat in class, I was... I don't know. Worried? Nervous? Afraid? Mr. Corey called my attention because I seemed "lost" and he asked me to say something about the element of romance in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Nights Dream.

So I get to talk about love. Cool.

That's the biggest bullshit ever.

At least, even if Lysander claimed that he stopped loving Hermia, he didn't necessarily intend to. It was just a silly little trick that should be blamed on the fairies. So then everything fell back in to place and they had a happy ending.

Fúck you, Hermia.

Boys weren't supposed to be perfect. They make you fall into this trap—this lie. And once you're in too deep, they leave you hanging.

Until the last minute, Stephen never came to class and I was so relieved and hurt at the same time.

---

And then lunch came.

I wish I had the appetite but really, I'd rather not eat for days. Every time I look at anything edible, I immediately disregard it.

And let's face it, I had no real friends. The only friend I have, my best friend, I let her go. For who? For that goddamn son of a bitch who took my virginity and left me.

Yes, keep pouring salt in that wound.

Instead of going to the cafeteria (which would be really bad for me considering I'll see the people I've been avoiding), I headed towards the library during lunch.

Honestly, I thank whoever invented libraries because they're so serene and so uncrowded and so helpful when you need it. I wanted to be alone and away from distraction.

I grabbed some random book from the shelf and pretended to read it as I sat alone at one of the tables. The librarian lady peeked at me from her wide glasses and I knew she knew that I wasn't here to read at all.

I just let my mind zone out. Again. I lost count with how many times I did today.

So, what was I saying again? Yeah, Shay.

Gosh, I wish I could tell her that I was sorry. I should have fúcking known. She was saying the realest shít to me, meanwhile my sensitive ass got offended because, all the while, I valued my boyfriend more than my best friend. I am so, so, so ashamed of myself. I was so blind. I had two eyes and never used them.