A Lucky Catch

Chapter 23

I was sitting at my kitchen table staring at my phone waiting for the call. It was so about 5 o'clock in the morning with the sun already out because of the time change. It was cold throughout the house since it was now February and we get the ocean breeze.

No one was awake and I was alone, wide awake. I have been feeling really alone yet everyone keeps reminding that they are here by my side. I know that I have their support, but I hate getting so close to these people to think I can possibly not have them the next day.

I haven't had treatment for the breast cancer yet because I don't know if surgery is the best option, or if I should just turn to chemo. I have seen many people go wrong with chemo and I don't want my life to feel drained. That is why I am awake at 5 in the morning staring at my phone waiting for the phone call from my doctor. He believes surgery is the best option to get whatever cancer is there before it spreads. I'm just scared of not loving myself anymore. I don't want to look at myself in the mirror and wish I could've done something different.

The phone ringing quickly snapped me out of my thoughts and before I could push answer I felt the two strong firm hands set on my shoulders. I put my hand on his as I clicked answer and placed my phone against the side of my face.

A: Hello Doctor.

D: Hello Ms. Ramirez, how have you been?

A: I'm doing okay, just get out of breathe easily and get tired right away.

D: Okay, that's normal. Rest is always the best thing for your body. Besides that, we have went through all your tests and have talked to other doctors and it seems like you have Stage IIB breast cancer which means you have a tumor on the left breast that is about 5cm but the good news is that the cancer hasn't hit the lymph nodes. Also, treatment... We can attack the cancer now and have an Mastectomy which is the surgery to remove the left breast only. We don't see any spreading which is good and Chemo is totally up to you and it is to only prevent it from coming back. For now we believe you will be okay with the mastectomy for now.

A: Wow. I don't know what to say.

D: It's a lot to take in, but you have a great support system and we found it very early which is a great thing. Many people don't find it so early so consider yourself a lucky one.

A: So what we want to do is the surgery to the one breast correct?

*Corey then sat down next to me and continued to hold my hand.*

D: Correct, we would like to this as soon as possible.

A: Okay, well can we do it tomorrow? I would go in today, but today is my sisters babyshower and today is her day.

D: Remember Alani, it is always okay to think about yourself in this situation, but if that is what you like then that is all okay too. After surgery I do want you to continue to go to a therapist still okay.

A: Okay, thank you so much Doctor. Thank you for everything. See you tomorrow.

D: You're welcome Ms. Ramirez, see you tomorrow.

I then hung up and cried. "Baby don't cry please." Corey said pulling me into his arms. "I just don't know how to feel. I am so glad that It isn't as bad as we thought, but I am going to lose a breast. A body part that I could nurture my child with. A body part that I was born with. A Body part God gave me. A body part that makes me feel beautiful. I am going to lose a part of me tomorrow." I said letting all my tears and emotions out. He hugged me and rubbed my back.

"Alani, you are beautiful and you will be as beautiful tomorrow then you've ever been. The thing that matter is you'll be healthy and I couldn't be happier." Corey said before pecking me with his soft juicy lips.