Alani Ramirez is a 22 year old graduate from UCLA. She has her first job out of college as the athletic trainer for the Los Angeles Dodgers. She has the dream job, and she even finds the dream boy which happens to be a Dodger player, but which one?
I was curled up in my bed for what was now the 13th day since I left the hospital. I haven't left my bedroom since then either. I only get out of bed to use the restroom and shower every so often before I start to feel too disgusted. I should be happy that my recovery is amazing and I am now healthy again, but I just can't. I feel empty with the large, dark, unappealing, scar on my body. I feel drained as if the doctor took my soul out instead of the cancer. I feel dead.
Everyone has been trying to stop by and give some type of comforting, but they can sense that it's just not working.
Corey has been trying too, but I keep pushing him away. The day I got home, I wanted to shower away all my feelings that traveled back with me from the hospital. Corey insisted on helping me since I wasn't allowed to wet the wound but I continued to want to be alone.
*Flash back*
"Corey please, I don't need your help!" I said starting to get frustrated with his persistence. "It's okay to ask for help Alani, I can help you. Please let me help. You're not alone." Corey said noticing my change of behavior since the surgery.
"Corey! I didn't fucking ask for help. Why don't you get it, I don't need you." I said thrashing out all my anger at him.
His face expressions quickly saddened as I said those words. I felt bad, but right now I just don't need or want anyone. Why can't everyone just understand that.
He lowered his head and took a while to finally walk away. I shut the door behind him and locked it shut and laid on the floor.
I felt like I was in a dark room with no doors and no windows, shut and locked away from everything, but I was doing it to myself.
*End of Flashback*
My lips were feeling dry, chapped, and dehydrated. I threw my blankets off in need of air from any other room but my own. I walked over to my closet and found one of Corey's shirt's that I have kept for so long. I took it off the hanger and threw it over my pale looking body.
I knew no one was home about this time so I opened my door and walked downstairs. The house was the quietest it has ever been. Usually it is full of smelly guys lounging around eating, sleeping, wrestling, or playing video games. I made my way into the kitchen and jumped as soon as I turned the corner to see Joc standing in front of my fridge.
"Holy shit Joc, what are you doing here?" I shouted after jumping in fear.
"Hey, you're out. I mean hey. I was hoping you guys had food because the boys back home haven't cooked for days." Joc said being careful about his words.
"Yeah, I was getting thirsty. We probably don't have anything already made but I can make you something if you'd like." I said grabbing a water bottle from the door of the fridge.
"No, it's okay. It's good to see you though." he said sitting at the kitchen bar stool.
"Thanks, I thought no one was home." I said sitting across from him.
"How are you feeling?" he asked unhesitant. "I don't know. I honestly don't know how I feel, or how to feel." I said softly.
"That's okay, as long as you aren't in pain. You're not in pain are you?" he asked. "No, I've been taking my pain meds so no pain, but emotionally yeah." I said as I was anxiously tapping my fingers on the counter.
"How's Corey?" I quickly asked hoping for something good. "You haven't talked to him?" he asked confused. "No, I kinda yelled at him out of anger and he hasn't came since, or at least I haven't let anyone in." I said embarrassed.
"Oh, well he hasn't been home. He could just be visiting home for a while." Joc said noticing the concern in my eyes.
"I'm such an asshole." I said putting my face down on the counter.
"No you're not, well sometimes but that's not why he's gone." Joc said not sugarcoating at all. "How do you know that?" I said as I watched Joc eat a banana awkwardly.
"Don't look at me while I eat this banana." he said while chewing.
"You're so gross. You're so ugly Joc." I said laughing at him. "I'm silly, breezy, beautiful, covergirl." he said making the duck face.
"I'm done with you." I said getting up to boil eggs.
I decided to quickly shower up while Joc was keeping an eye out for my eggs. I was walking into the bathroom when I heard my phone buzz on my nightstand. I was hesitant to look or not because I have been staying away from it for a while afraid of seeing anything negative.
As curious as I was, I went to my phone to see 107 text messages, 19 missed calls and many notifications from social medias. I clicked on my messages and many were from family but I didn't find one from Corey. I clicked on instagram and had too many notifications to even comprehend.
I did have notifications on for a few people and there was a post from Corey. I clicked on it and it was an old picture of the both of us smiling our pearly white teeth. I remember that day vividly like it was yesterday. It was the weekend we spent in Seattle at Kyle's penthouse. I couldn't help but smile because this time in the picture, I was on cloud 9. I knew Corey was the man I needed, and the man I wanted.
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(Pretend Corey had some bomb scruff like that 😍 hint hint No shave November Corey 😉) Tears began to fall onto my screen without the realization that I was crying in the first place. I then looked at the caption and remembered why I fell in love with him in the first place. "This girl right here, she keeps me going. This girl, she makes me weak. This girl, she inspires me everyday. This girl, she shaped me into a better man. This girl, she is beautiful. This girl, she drives me crazy. This girl, she is my world. This girl, she's my girl. This girl is the love of my life. She is one fighter and I know that whatever she is going through right now is temporary. If space is what she wants, I'll give her that. If apple juice is what she wants, I'll give her that. If a car is what she wants, I'll give her that. If my last name is what she wants, damn I'll really give her that. That is what you do for someone you love."
By the end of reading that I was in full tears sobbing on my bed. I had pushed away the best thing for me. I told him I didn't need him when in reality I needed him the most right now."
I grabbed my phone and quickly called him.
C: "Alani? Babe are you okay?"
A: "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for treating you like shit. I need you."
C: "Alani, babe slow down what happened?"
A: "I just want you here."
C: "Okay, I'm in NC right now. I'll catch the first flight back. I love you so much Alani."
A: "I love you too."
I then hung up keeping my phone close to my heart. This man deserves the world.
The Cubs won.... Damn 108 years later. We can all say we were alive when that happened so that's pretty cool. 😂 I'm just happy bc Lebron James is from Cleveland and I hate him so glad they didn't win. So all is well.
??????
If I were to write another story, who should it be about and what would you like to see?
-No answer from me this time bc it's all you guys you have given me the support to even do this one. 😇
