Seduce Me

10

Jessica

I kept checking my phone as if somehow I could dial Cameron's number without actually pressing his name. I definitely wasn't ready to talk to him about what had happened. I didn't know what to say or how I would even explain it. 

It just happened. 

That was the worst argument but it was also the truth. I didn't go into work that morning planning to kiss Harry. It just happened and I was just as stunned. I mean I liked it, but it still caught me off guard. Really, I just needed to sit and think this all through. What did I really want?

Was I even still attracted to Cameron? What feelings did I actually have towards him if any? He had been doing nothing but annoying me the past few weeks. I didn't want to be with or around him. 

Blindly roaming the streets, with no particular destination in mind, my body just slowly guiding me down the road. I know I didn't want to go home, because what if he was there waiting on me? I wanted to call Danielle but I was scared she'd judge me. To be honest the only person I wanted to be with in this moment was Harry. I wanted to call him and ask if I could come back over. 

Would that be weird? Was it wrong to want comfort from the one person who started all of this mess anyway.

My feet began to hurt as I kept walking, trying to clear my mind and just relax. But my brain didn't want to let it go. The entire scene kept replaying in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about how good his lips felt on mine. So good I wondered where else they might feel that good. I bit my lip at the thought, enjoying the idea of us going further than a kiss. It had been awhile for me. My arousal had come to an abrupt halt whenever Cameron tried to be intimate. I mean I did want it, I wanted something, just not with him.

But no, no I couldn't do that. I had a boyfriend that I'd just cheated on. I shook it from my head, turning into a small bar on the corner. I could use a drink, I thought as I took a seat in the fairly empty place. 

3 beers, and 2 shots later, my mind was buzzing. I sat at the now filled bar, wondering what time it was. The music was louder, and so were the voices yelling and talking around me. The bar was full, and I could smell smoke in the air. I pulled out my phone, looking down to see a message from Cameron sent hours ago. I frowned not wanting to talk to him yet. Even with a bit of liquid courage flowing through my system, somehow I still wasn't prepared. I was sure he was asking when we could talk about what he had seen. In my state I'd somehow managed to decide that I definitely didn't want to see him anymore. But I did want to at least give him a legitimate explanation.

I wasn't a completely horrible person.

But it just wasn't there for me anymore, and it had been that way for awhile. It wasn't because Harry had kissed me and I hoped it would turn into something else. Well that was only half true I suppose. I shrugged making a final decision as I opened his text. My frown deepened when I read the words.

I'm done.

Nothing but two words, to end the relationship. I was gonna do it anyway, but in person. Did he just break up with me over a text? I started giggling maniacally at the situation. 

Well that backfired. I should've been offended but the alcohol in my system thought that this was funny. At least I would've had the balls to confront him properly and end it in person. I kept reading the message over and over, as if I'd missed something. As if some underlying clue was between the lines.

I didn't bother responding as I stood from the bar, leaving some money for my tab and walking out. Now I wanted to call Danielle.

I sat staring at my bestfriend waiting for her brain to catch up with the information I'd just given her. I sat patiently, scrolling through social media, not at all really interested in what our high school and college classmates were up to. But I needed to look at something while I waited for Danielle to get rid of the initial shock of what I'd just told her in a span of about 2 minutes. I mean even I had to admit it was a lot of info to take in.

Which was everything that had happened today. Kissing Harry, getting caught by Cameron. Going to Harry's apartment, getting drunk, getting a break up text from Cameron. Which I still didn't know how felt about. I mean I guess I didn't really care. After all, my feelings for Cameron were lacking significantly these past months. Since before I'd even met Harry and started working for him. I just didn't feel that spark from when we'd first gotten together about a year ago.

Don't get me wrong, I know it's completely normal to just stop having feelings for someone. I guess I just expected to have the chance to explain myself to him. I sighed as I scrolled mindlessly through Facebook and Instagram. Liking and commenting on random pictures and posts. I jumped so high in my seat the phone flew from my hands and landed loudly on my coffee table, with a loud clang after Danielle had yelled at the top of her lungs.

"WHAT?!"

I glared at her, quickly checking my phone and glass coffee table for any damage. I took a seat, satisfied that my belongings hadn't been damaged, and met her wide eyed stare. I rolled my eyes, at my dramatic friend, crossing my legs in front of me. I repeated the events of the day again to her, my voice bored and monotone.

"Why are acting like this isn't a big deal? Because it's a big ass fucking deal!" She yelled again, slamming her hands against her legs as she enunciated each syllable. When I stare at her blankly she continues. "What does this mean? Are you guys like a thing now?"

These are the same questions that have been running through my head for hours now, I think to myself. I shrug slightly at her questions, though they are the same questions I'm asking myself. It was just a kiss, but it was a kiss I wanted to happen. Did I want it to mean something? I mean I think I did, yeah of course. I am a woman and we always read too much into these types of things. But that wasn't even the most important question. I didn't even know how Harry felt or where he stood with this. He made the first move, but we didn't even talk about it. He'd dismissed me from his apartment before I could even ask him.

I came back to reality at the sound of my phone ringing, my brows furrowing at the name that flashed across the screen.

Harry Calling ...

I pressed answer, wondering what he could possibly need but also hoping it was to discuss exactly what I'd been thinking about just seconds ago. Maybe he wanted me to come back over to talk, or maybe he wanted to come to my place. Did he want to meet somewhere to have dinner? I shook my head speaking coolly  through the phone as I held it up to my ear.

"Um, hey," I tried sounding light and like I hadn't expected him to call, which I hadn't.

It was silent on his end before his deep raspy voice echoed through the speaker.

"I need you to be in at 7 tomorrow. I have a lot of important meetings, and I'll need you to pick up a few things to bring in with you." His voice was hard and sort of angry sounding, and I was utterly confused by it.

"Ok, is everything alright? You sound sort of tense?"

"You'll be receiving an email from me shortly with all of the information, goodnight," he ignored me, two beeps in my ear indicating he'd hung up. I pulled the device away looking at it with confusion. If there was a word to describe how even more confused I was now, I don't what it is.

"So? What'd he say?" I looked up at my best friend, after having completely forgotten she stood in front of me, waiting patiently for my answer.

"I need some Tequila," I stood, grabbing my coat and wallet, and walking out my front door, hoping she was following close behind me.