The Demon Inside Me

Chapter 38: Will You

Chapter 38: Will you

He left...

That's what he did. Right after Blue said it. He was stoned. So I did what I have to. Umalis ako sa pinagtataguan ko at lumapit sa anak ko. He was still smirking. And somehow what he said woke up Sky. "See? So don't effin promise cause I won't let them hope then get hurt." His smirk vanished and all I can see in his face was anger. He even cursed. Again...

Lumingon siya sakin. As a mother even though he's trying so hard to cover it I can see it in his eyes. He's hurt. And a kid shouldn't be hurting like this. Specially Blue. He doesn't deserve it. He then smiled. A sad one before he entered his room again. He slammed the door that made Sky flinch.

Tumayo siya, tulala parin. "You don't have to." Bulong ko pero sinigurado ko na rinig niya. Tumingin siya sakin. Nagtataka. "I mean if..." I sighed deeply. This is damn hard. "We can still change Blue's decision. We can compromise with him."

Umiling siya. "That's his condition." Matigas niyang sabi.

"If its hard for you to choose..." I trailed. Lumalim ang tingin niya sakin.

I don't know kung anong mali sa sinabi ko o kung dapat ko pa bang ipagpatuloy.

"You think I need to choose?" May bahid ng galit sa tono niya. Naglumikot ang mata ko. Finding the right words but I can't.

"I... I just..." damn it.

"Baby, there's no choosing. Cause I already know what I have to do the moment those words came out from Blue's mouth." I didn't dare to talk. I just stood there. He held both of my hands and kissed the back of my palm. "There was never an engagement to begin with." Was the last thing he said before he left.

Naguguluhan ako. Hindi ko maintindihan ang pinapahiwatig niya. Why does he keep on calling me baby? Why did he say that there was never an engagement? Pilit sumisiksik sa utak ko lahat ng mga masusuyong salita na sinasabi niya. Yung utak ko hindi ko alam kung gumagana pa ba.

Naramdaman ko nalang na pabagsak na ako. Pero bago ako bumagsak, may kamay na pumalibot sa akin.

"Fuck." He cursed. I was too dizzy to open my eyes but I know that voice. That's the voice of the person who's been with me every step of the way. Its my bestfriend.

-----

I woke up feeling better. I felt some tiny hands holding both of my hands. Dahan-dahan kong minulat ang mga mata ko. The first thing I saw was my ceiling.

"Mom?" Malambot na boses ang tumawag sakin. Lumingon ako at nakita si Blue na nakatingin sakin nag-aalala. I just smiled. Tumingin naman ako sa tabi ko at nakita si Ara na mahimbing na natutulog parin.

"Hey baby. What time is it? Why are you already awake?" Lumingon ako sa orasan at nakitang 6:30 ng umaga palang. Binaling ko muli ang tingin ko sa aking anak at nakita ang malamlam niyang mga mata. Halatang pagod.

"I can't sleep properly mom. I was worried about you and I was worried that I'm the reason." Now I'm sick. When did I got sick? Last time I checked nagkakasakit lang ako kapag tungkol sa serum at pagkakaalam ko wala na itong bisa ngayon.

"You're not the reason Blue. I'm just tired because of stress." Paliwanag ko.

"And that stress is caused by me mommy. Don't deny it. I know." Madiin niyang saad bago hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa aking mga kamay. "I'm sorry mom. I'm really sorry for being stubborn. I just... I don't even know how to explain this mom."

Ngumiti ako at bahagyang bumangon. Sinandal ko ang likod ko sa headboard ng kama. "Anak... uhm baby, you're just four why are you even thinking like that?" Umiling siya.