My Heart Is Not Homophobic [boyxboy]

My Heart Is Not Homophobic {21}

                Patrick Cash may not have been a sociopath as River had said, but he was dipping slightly into crazy. Perhaps it had been because of all the chain smoking his father had done around his mother during her pregnancy with Pat. Perhaps it was the fact he had had been born over a month earlier than he was supposed to be. Perhaps it was the trauma of, as a small child, watching his father get viciously beaten. Perhaps it was a combination of all 3. And perhaps it was just meant to be.

                He felt guilt, though not much. He could always justify his actions in his head. He had, though he was younger than him, managed to manipulate a terrified Jason James Hottie when he was introduced to homophobia, showing the 7th grade boy to be violent against homophobes.

                Pat did not completely comprehend right from wrong, and had no trouble physically injuring someone. He wouldn’t kill anybody, but he was not against breaking a bone or two. He enjoyed manipulation, too. It made him feel in control.

                As for Felix Green? He was by no means dumb, but he had the senses of a small child. He also could not completely comprehend right from wrong.

                Perhaps that was due to the heavy drug use he had done for a few years. Perhaps it was because his father had dropped him as a baby, causing him to smack his head.

                He didn’t mind being manipulated by Pat. He enjoyed it, actually, because he did not completely understand it. Together, the two boys, one dangerously on the edge of sanity and being crazy and the other with the senses of a 3 year old, made a dangerous pair. Their parents, although they had certainly noticed from time to time, ignored it for the most part, not wanting to admit there was anything wrong with their children.

                JJ ignored that now as he walked through the school with Pat. Pat had that look in his eyes that revealed just how his mental health was beginning to seriously deteriorate.

                                                                                ***JJ’s POV***

                Pat had that look in his eyes that worried me and Gabe, but, like always, we ignored it. There was nothing wrong with Pat. He was just looking out for me.

                I looked up and noticed Roman and Milo walking, holding hands and laughing together. Oh yea. He really looked like he fucking missed me. Stupid jackass. I can’t believe I was going to let myself trust that asshole.

                “Hey faget,” Riley growled and shoved me. “I’ll kick your fucking ass if you touch him again,” Pat growled, grabbing Riley’s arm tightly. “Let go of me, half fag,” Riley spat.

                Pat twisted his arm behind him and Riley let out a hiss of pain. “You mentally insane freak!” he snapped. Pat’s eyes flashed dangerously and he pulled Riley’s arm up higher.

                “Pat, let him go. He’s not worth it,” I said silently. Pat glared but released Riley. I let my fist fly, catching Riley in the face viciously. He staggered to the ground, his nose a bloody mess. I grabbed Pat’s wrist and pulled him along, not wanting to look at that stupid homophobe ever again.

                I glanced back at Milo. I was going to crush him. Fuck with me and then make fun of the fact that I was adopted, huh? Fuck that.

                “Hi Milo,” I said coldly, going up to him. He glanced at me and blushed. “Hi JJ,” he said quietly, looking at his feet. “How are you?”

                “How am I? I’m fucking dandy. My adoptive parents and siblings and I were watching a movie together last night,” I said, ice dripping off my words. “JJ, I didn’t say that, I swear! Why would I make fun of the fact that you’re adopted? That’s mean! I didn’t send that text!” he cried desperately. “Please believe me!”

                But believing him meant that Pat was backstabbing me. And Pat wouldn’t do that. Not Pat, not Gabe, and not Felix. They all had my trust. They wouldn’t throw it away so carelessly. I just knew they wouldn’t do that to me.

                “You know what Milo? I hope you get hit by a fucking car,” I growled. Pat snickered. “Yea. Boom! Just a shitty piece of road kill,” he said and laughed, though it wasn’t his normal laugh. Holy shit the kid must be overtired or some shit.

                “Fuck off Pat!” Milo snapped angrily and blushed at his own response. Pat’s laughter stopped and his eyes narrowed. Without another word to him, he let his fist fly forward to make contact with Milo’s face.

                Milo gasped in pain. Pat moved to advance on him, but I shoved him away. I glanced at Milo. “Let’s go, Pat. He’s not worth it,” I hissed and dragged Pat away from him.

                But he was worth it. I knew that. I didn’t want to, but I did. I still wanted to be with Milo. I didn’t want Pat to hurt him. But I didn’t want Milo to know that. Because I was terrified he would hurt me. When you put your love and trust in someone’s hands, you gave them the complete power to break it and destroy you. And I was just too scared to take that chance.