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Warning: this chapter may be triggering for some.
We all just got back from the house in Texas. We had spent a week there and I'm glad to be back home. I'm in my room now and trying to hold back tears.
I've been thinking about my mom. I miss her a lot and I hate not seeing her. It's not that I don't love my new family, because I do and wouldn't change it for anything. A single tear escaped just as Naya walked in.
"Hannah are you okay?" She asks
I shake my head no
"Why didn't you talk to one of us?" She asks
"I don't want you guys to think I'm not grateful for everything I have" I say
"You're to sweet to be ungrateful honey now why don't you tell me what's up" naya says
"Can you get demi?" I ask
"Of course" naya replies
Naya left the room and a second later I heard Demi running up the stairs.
"What's wrong baby girl?" She asks
"I miss my real mom" I sob
"I know how you feel and it's tough losing someone and not getting to see them even on the holidays but remember she's in a better place and watching over you. She'd want you to be happy" Demi says
"I know it's just tough" I say
"You'll be okay" Demi smiles
We hugged and Molly came in and joined our hug. A minute later naya also came in and joined our group hug. I actually feel really happy right now.
"So I've been meaning to talk to you girls about something" Demi says
"What?" I ask
"You girls have to go to school..." Demi states
"Oh yeah, that" I groan
"I know you don't want to go but it's necessary" Demi sighs
"Guess your right" I frown
"What's school?" Molly asks
"You have to go everyday and learn to read and write and do math" I explain
"But it'll be fun" Demi adds
"When do I go?" Molly asks
"You both start tomorrow" Demi announces
"WHAT" I scream
"Hannah don't scream" naya scolds me
"Sorry" I say
"Anyway you'll find out what you need tomorrow" Demi says
"I'm excited" Molly says
"I'm not" I groan
"Well I don't want to be around a grump who wants to help me make dinner" Demi says
"Me!" Molly says
Naya laughed and the three of them went downstairs to start dinner, leaving me here alone.
I didn't tell demi this but I'm terrified of going back to school. I don't want to deal with the bullies.
My demons took this as perfect opportunity to come and invade my mind.
Demi's sending you to school to get you away from her
She wants to see you get bullied
Nobody cares about you
Molly's excited because she won't be stuck with you
Nobody actually loves you
They're just using you
I started crying and went straight for the bathroom and broke my razor.
So much for that one month clean
I cut. I kept going a little deeper each time. The voices wouldn't stop and I started screaming.
"SHUT UP"
"JUST STOP"
" YOURE WRONG"
The blood is flowing down my arm and the tears are flowing down my face. All I can think about is getting the voices to stop and they won't.
I'm shaking having a hard time breathing.
Losing my grip from reality...
MOLLY POV
I heard Hannah screaming so I ran to her room. I saw her crying and blood running down her arms. She has a shiny silver thing in her hand and she keeps screaming. She's also shaking.
"MOMMY" I keep yelling as I leave hannahs bathroom and look for mommy.
"What's wrong Molly?" She asks as she runs into the house
"It's Hannah" I tear up
Demi ran past me and up to Hannah's room.
DEMI POV
I ran straight to Hannah's room and heard the screaming and sobs coming from the bathroom. I walked over and looked in.
Rushing over to Hannah I grabbed toilet paper to clean her cuts. I pressed down and got the bleeding to stop. I grabbed a washcloth and cleaned up the blood around the cuts. She's still screaming and crying but I had to stop the bleeding before she lost too much blood.
I noticed she's also shaking. Pulling her into a hug I started whisper singing skyscraper in her ear and rubbed her back. I got her to stop screaming, which is a start.
"Hannah look at me" I say
She looked at me, her tear stained face is breaking my heart.
"Match my breathing" I say
She finally calmed down after 5 minutes.
"I promise everything will be okay, whatever your voices were telling you were wrong. I love you, we all love you" I tell her
"I love you demi" she says
"I love you more" I tell her "now come on let's go to sleep someone has school in the morning"
I carried her to my room and got Molly to follow. The three of us girls fell asleep cuddled up to eachother.
This chapter is probably pretty short but the next one will definitely be longer!
