dear self | soukoku

1 | gloomy

Dear Self,

It's been a day since seeing Chuuya at the bar and my mood has only worsened.

Because of my moodiness, I decided not to go to work today. After I called in "sick", I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.

Seeing Chuuya has really taken a toll on me. I am really missing him. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm lonely?

Lost in my thoughts, I was completely unaware that I ended up walking near Chuuya's apartment.

I then saw a familiar ginger come out from the apartment.

Crap.

I quickly hid behind the nearest bush. He didn't see me. I sighed in relief.

I decided to follow Chuuya since I was there anyway.

It seemed he was headed to the bar we were at previously the day before.

Once he arrived, he looked at the sign. It read "CLOSED" in big red letters.

"Are you kidding me? I wasted my time to come to this damn bar and they're closed? I thought they were open 24/7!" I heard Chuuya yell in annoyance.

"Damn it, damn it all." Chuuya said, walking away from the bar.

I then realized I was basically being a stalker. I decided to call it a day.

As I walked back to my apartment, I noticed a flower shop. I decided to walk inside.

It was consisted of a variety of colors; blue, yellow, green, red, pink, orange, you name it.

As I looked around the shop, a yellow flower bouquet caught my eyes. Along with it was a card.

It read:

嘆かわしい
nagekawashii

It meant disappointment. Before I could change my mind, I grabbed it and bought it.

I bought it because it reminded me of Chuuya disappointed with the bar being closed.

As I exited the shop, I started to think:
Should I leave this for Chuuya?

Before I could stop myself, I went back to Chuuya's apartment. The lights were on so he was inside. I placed the bouquet of yellow carnations in front of the door and quickly ran so he couldn't see me.

I'm not sure why I did that to be honest. He'll probably just throw it away...

Hopefully I'll gather the courage to come up to him soon.

Sincerely,
Stalker Dazai

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a/n:
sorry if the translation is wrong
i got it from google 🙃