dear self | soukoku

14 | unbearable waiting

- Chuuya's POV -

February 1

I hear the sound of sirens coming closer as I hold Dazai. My phone slips out of my hand as I look at him.

His eyes are on the verge of closing as he says, "Ch..."

"Hey, y-you're gonna be ok." I try my best to smile, but my frown is too overpowering.

His eyes close.

"D-Dazai?" I quickly check his pulse. I sigh in relief. He's still breathing, barely.

When the ambulance finally arrives, I'm still holding Dazai in my lap.

They come out of the truck and practically pry him out of my hands.

My eyes never leave him as they put him in the red vehicle.

I run to the back of the car.

"Sorry, only family can ride." Says the medic.

"I'm his friend. Let me in the car."

"Sorry sir."

"He has no family! Let me in!"

"Please find your own way of transp-" I grab him by the collar.

"I'm coming with you." I say to him.

I let go. He stares at me in disbelief and then heads into the back. I follow.

I take a seat in the back and look at Dazai. As the medics aide him, I notice he's struggling to breathe.

Don't die on me you idiot.

//

We finally reach the hospital. The medics unload Dazai. I follow them as they quickly transport him to a room.

We reach the room. One of the doctors that were waiting closes the curtain before I can step further.

"You cannot be in here sir."

"But-" One of the male doctors pushes me out before I can finish.

"I need to be in there, he's my friend." I say to the male.

"I understand that, but you're gonna have to wait out here so we could get our work done. We can't have you in the way."

I go to the waiting room without another word.

My right leg continuously shakes with nervousness as I wait for Dazai.

I feel like I can hardly calm myself down.

Why did he get shot in the first place? Maybe he pissed someone off with his obnoxiousness. But to go far as shoot him? Why?

Why was he even on the bridge? He's always been saying he wants to commit suicide with a woman and I didn't see any woman with him. What was he doing?

//

It's been about two hours, no news.

I think I'm getting a headache from all this stress.