dear self | soukoku

13 | conflicting feelings

- Chuuya's POV -

February 1

"Bye. Have a nice day!" My coworker says.

"Bye."

As I open the door to the coffee shop, I feel a swift, cold breeze in my face.

I then realize that I left my scarf in the shop.

"Damnit."

I head back into the shop to retrieve my scarf.

(this is what he's wearing btw)

I head to my apartment.

Once I arrived, I look around.

No flowers.

I decide to take a walk.

Dazai hasn't contacted me at all since...since he did what he did.

Why did that idiot do that?

Was he trying to test my feelings? I was already confused with them before.

Now he's made it a mystery.

The truth is I haven't been feeling like myself ever since hanging out with Dazai again.

Whenever I'm with him, I feel like I can't breathe and I'm extremely nervous.

It make me so mad. What's wrong with me?

I haven't talked to Bakazai in some time. Wonder what he's up to.

Ew. Why am I wondering? I hate that bastard.

Well, that's what my brain says at least. My heart is telling a different story.

I headed to the bar.

Once I arrived, I sat in my usual seat on the circular red chair in front of the bartender.

The usual waiter wasn't there though. Maybe I made him quit because of my drunk ass.

"I'll take some wine."

"Sure thing." The female bartender responded.

I pull my phone from my right pocket.

Dazai would always bug the hell out of me everyday with his annoying texts.

No texts.