For Him

Chapter 26- The Letter

The house itself was quiet, but the thoughts inside Kurt's head were loud.

Blaine retreated to his room after Phil left, and didn't unlock the door until he was sure Kurt wasn't going to follow him in. He loved Kurt, of course he did, but he wanted to be alone for a bit. And Kurt knew to back off.

Both of them skipped dinner. Neither of them were hungry, and both had a pit in their stomach that wouldn't go away, no matter how much food they put in there.

Blaine simply stayed in his room the rest of the night, sobbing until he'd fallen asleep, and Kurt sitting in his staring at the ceiling looking for an answer.

"Go tell the police, I can play that game too," ricocheted in his mind, Phil's words bouncing off the walls of his brain and echoing time and time again.

"Can you last months in prison, Gigolo?" Kurt's head spun, his vision blurry with tears and confusion. "...I can play that game too."

He ran his hands though his hair, and turned to the clock on his beside table to see how much time he would have to spend wallowing in his own personal hell. It was only 12:07. There was so much time left.

"...months in prison...", "Go tell the police...", "...Gigolo," "I can play that game too," Kurt's hands tightened their grip on his hair, pulling at it like the harder he went, the more a solution would come out of this.

Where was he supposed to go? What was he supposed to do? What would happen to Blaine? Blaine doesn't deserve this. What did you do to Blaine? It's all your fault.

"It's my fault," Kurt whispered. He finally knew what he needed to do.

Kurt got out of his bed at 12:23, and he immediately started writing. The pen scratched at the lined paper on the countertop, as he wrote the first words that came into his head.

Blaine deserved more than a crappy letter written by a man with nothing more than a high school education, with limited vocabulary and trouble finding the phrasing for exactly what he needed to say. Blaine deserved more than what Kurt could give him. That was the point, right?

At last, he was done. Kurt brought the completed paper to his lips, his love passing from his body to the words on the page, and let a drop of water be released onto it when he blinked too hard. He held it in his right hand when he silently moved by Blaine's room.

Kurt held his breath as he opened the door, peaked in noiselessly to make sure the boy wouldn't stir awake in his bed, and proceeded in. He had to make sure Blaine saw the letter, so he put it right next to his head, near his charging phone.

As Kurt set it down, he looked at the sleeping boy, who he wouldn't be able to see in a long time. But when he saw him again, Kurt was sure that he'd be more free, the light would be in his eyes, and he'd find peace within himself. That wouldn't be possible if Kurt was there, Blaine couldn't find any of that unless he was gone.

Kurt bent down slowly, balancing himself on the creaky floorboards, and pressed his lips to Blaine's forehead. His lips lingered, again, his eyes shut, and his heart broken, before he finally held himself back.

"Goodbye, Blaine."

Kurt left the apartment, knowing that even with all of the poor choices he'd made in his life, this definitely was not one of them.