To Hamburg

Chapter 12: The nightcap

Rory didn't know what had come over her.  Here she was in Logan Huntzberger's room, turning down coffee and asking instead for a drink.  She needed something to help calm her nerves, though, and she hoped that this would do the trick.

Logan seemed to hesitate for a moment before he turned and busied himself with making their drinks, finally placing them on the coffee table and inviting her to the sofa.

She sat down gingerly on one side of the sofa and took a few sips of her drink before finally beginning.

"So..." she simply stated.

"So," he answered.  "Look, Rory, I need you to understand what I meant back there.  I don't regret that I asked you to marry me."  She opened her mouth to interrupt, but he simply placed his finger on her lips and continued.  "Listen to me, please, before you say anything else.  I wanted to spend my life with you.  It was always you, since that day outside your room in Branford.  Sure, it took me a while to come to terms with it, but it was you.  And with you graduating and me looking for a job, I got caught up in the moment and I asked you to marry me.  Don't get me wrong, Rory.  I wanted to be your husband, but I broke my promise to you when I did that.  I had promised that you could follow your dreams and that I would make certain that I could be a part of your life, and with that proposal I broke that promise.  And I've asked myself a million times why in the world I thought it would be a good idea to ask you to marry me in front of everyone.  I knew you better than that.  I understand why you said no, Rory.  You had to say no.  I didn't give you any choice, and I know that."

Rory just sat there for a moment, really taking in everything that he had said.  She took a few more sips of her drink, holding the glass nervously while she noticed that he hadn't touched his.  Finally, she placed her glass on the table and placed her hand on top of his. 

"No, you really didn't give me any choice.  I wanted to be with you, but I needed to spread my wings, Logan, to see what I could do in this crazy world.  And then you gave me that ultimatum..." she trailed off.

"Look, let's just say that if I could go back and change one week in my life, it would be everything about that week.  I was wrong, Rory.  I was wrong to propose, and I was wrong to tell you it's all or nothing.  I should have kept my promise to you and supported you after you having supported me, especially while I was in London."

A tear formed in the corner of her eyes and she tried to wipe it away quickly before he could see.

"Thank you, Logan.  I understand, and I needed to hear what you had to say.  It's all in the past now.  After all, I can hardly blame you for wanting to marry such an amazing woman, right?" she joked.