This boy cries

just thinking

This boy cries chapter 4

It was a week Since i found out she waso out of jail. iwas ok now i guess. There was nothing that eventful going on. It was a saterday and we were going to a christams market. I was almost looking foward to it. Well besides the food and the croud and the drunkens and that pushimg and shovimg.

As ever the bad outweighed the good. But it was just the atmosphere. It was so rubish that it was good. Dont ask me how that is posibal. I realy dont know. Maby its just me and my stupid brain.

I shoved on a black and grey striped hoddy with black ripped jeans and my leather coat along with my back vans.i then grabdd my phone and put on friction by imagine dragons as i went down stairs to the car.

The cold winter breeze hit my face harshly. Smacking me cruley. I then got into the car where they were watig for me.

₪₪₪₪₪

"Im proud of you eating the chicke wig and rice"david mumbled to me making me smile. The last week had given me time ot think. I didnt want everythig to get to me so much.it was so hard. But i wanted to recover more then anything.

Once we got back i was exsorsted. But i had promise i would start having either a mikshake, smoothie or hot chocolate everyday as it was easyer for me to drink then eat. And even though i had eaten alot for me (a apple and a small chicken wing and a small rice) a promise is a prommise i guess.

I sat in the kitchen as i pored the warm milk into the cup where i had already put in some pouder. I then stired it well so there wasn't any of them annoying clumps at the bottom. Its crazy how nasty it taste if you dont put anything in.

Then all of a sudden tears pricked to my eyes. Thats the thing about mental health. It hits you when you least expect it.when you think your fine. I wanted so badly to recover. Id tryed but gave up when i was adopted and i then got worse, espesialy the eating.

If you saw me and

jessica

shes so much thiner then me. But it dosnt mean anything. She realy, like ive said before is a pig

when it comes to food.

Its times like this i juat need to cry. And let it out."you ok?" jessica asked. She didnt know anything. She was lovly but clueless. She just enjoyed life and i dont ever realy want her to find out. Yes i slag her off all the time but shes so innocent. She dosnt need to knowm she knows i dont eat much bit thats about it realy.

"Im fine" i. replyed. "Whatevers happened, i know you hate talking, but its over. I know i stil get upset...but i know that were in a great place now. I know that womt make everything perfect, but surly it helps right?" she questiond.

"Sure" i replyed.

"I know were...different. But i am her if you ever did want to talk" she said as i nodded.

"Thanks but no thanks yer" i replyed as she nodded and i walked off.

Maby she did understand more then i thought?

As soon as i got up stairs i tryed to sleep but failed as ever. Id been on loafs of sleeping stuff but there was nothing to help me. I was on loads of med, nothing made anything better...but i was worse wirhput them. I guess, i just wanted more then anything to bebetter without the need of anythimg. But theses things take time. Well thats what everyone says anyway.