This boy cries

internal vs external

This boy cries chapter 23

I woke up complately beside my self in the middle of a forist. Id had my recuring nightmair again and i was Shaking like mad. Then i heard someone call my name. It was Madeline. I went to run towards her.

'YOU DON DESERVE HER" i heard the vpice shout.

"SHUT UP" i shouted back.

"YOUR JUST TRYIN TO GET ATTENTION!" it replied shouting.
"SHUT UP!" i shouted panicking.

"Ben look at me. Is me Madeline" she told me.

I lost controle again.

"GO AWAY" i shoutd confused and scaired. If i went with her mum could be wating there. I couldnt trust her.

"Good boy. Just walk away" the voice said, this time comfting me.

I went to get up and i started walking.

"BEN PLEASE. LET ME HELP YOU" she called desperately.

"Dont trust her. Listen to me. I can help. Just walk away" she voice demeanded.

"Ben listen to me. Look at me" she called jentaly as i looked over to her. I saw her tear stained eyes, and her shaking body.

"Look at her! Look what you've caused!" the voice snapped.

It was righ.i was all at fault. I neededt o run. I ran and ran with her chasing after me. I ran till i saw a road and i sat in it. I didnt want to move. I couldnt. Madeline was saying one thing and my head another. There was too much arguing.

Soon enought the police were there and they pulled me off the road with me kicking and screaming. It was all to much.all of it.

Jessica pov

As soon as mum came in I ran downstairs in tears. "Have you found him?" i asked shaking. "Yes,but Hes been sectioned" she replyed. "What. Why?!"i exclamed. "Thats personal" she replyed. "Can i see him?" i asked her as she shook herhead. "I want know hes ok!" i snapped braking doen in more tears. "He will be" she awnserd. "THEN WHY CANT I SEE HIM!" i shouted breaking down and sitting down on the stairs as they both hugged me.

Ben pov

I had been forced my meds and was sat in a hospital ward with a nurse sat next to me at all times. I was starting to calm down when my social worker came in with someone i didnt know. "This is bella from camhs. We both want a chat with you. You know the prosess" she said as i nodded standing up amd we walked in silence to a smaller room alomg the corridor.

Once we had got past the basics bella asked me "why did you run away from home?"

"I heard them talking. My mum had been spoted close by" i told her looking down.

"Why didnt you take your meds?" she asked.

"So i didnt down them" i wisperd lookin down.

Id been secrioned before a few times.i knew it was best to just awaser the questions. How ever much i hated opeimg up.

"Do you feel suicidal now" she asked as i shock my head. In honselt i didnt know what i felt.

"Were gonna keep you in and asses you. As you still sectiond your need a nurse with you at all times" she replyed as i nodded knowing the drill.

I rarely had voices, i first exeprinced them when i had my break down when i was first put into care. I didn't experience them now if i took my meds, appart from the odd one but nothing masaive. I guess that made me lucky compared to many.

Soon enough it was tea and i had a bit off mash and a jelly pot wich considing it was hospital food was good. I hadnt eaten anything since I'd been away, id only realy taken food incase i had to for some reason.

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Hospitals alwase made it harder to sleep. But when i did i. Had the same dream again, only this time they all stabbed me at the end and the box was smaller and smaler each time, going quicker each time.

I woke up screaming and shakeing but they sorted it out pritty quickish. I just hoped i got out of there soon as.