This boy cries

just me and my brain...

This boy cries chapter 22

I woke up aching all over. Put it this way,the pavment is harder and colder then it looks, Espesialy in January. I got up slowly as i was  partly frozen. I looked in my bag to seemy phone vibrating its head off. I turned it off. I didnt want to talk to anyone.  I couldn't even look at there messages, risk being convinced to go back. I don't think so.

I stood up and started walking arround the i went into a toilet just i didnt have to keep walking because one im lazy and two...thats how id been caught last time. I knew the police would of been rang the second I had gone. With most kids the police dont take on the case strait away but i was deamed 'high priority' for obvious reasons so they would. Just like last time.

"Your no good" 

I looked arround but no-one was there. Shit. I hadnt taken my meds. It was only a matter of time till I deteriated, i knew that. But id risk detiriating to not see her.

As the day pased i heard a  more and more voices. I has to keep it all in. I had to. Id get the odd ones when i was on my meds but nothing like this. Not this bad. They just grew loder and lowder thoughout the day.

By the time the sky was dark they were scraming at me. Going mental. Even when i slept, they were still there, to the point that i gave up on sleep. Not that that was unusal for me.

Jessica pov

***phone call***

"Im not comeback till hes found" i snapped determinedly. "Thats not going to achieve anything. You know that. You need to be back its getting late-"i dont care. Hes not safe!" i shot back. "Were not loseing you to" mum retaliated, her voice cracking, her and dad had been crying all day. Along With me. "You havnt. You know im in town and you know im safe" i replyed. "Not at 10 colock at night your not safe" she replyed sternly. "I want my brother back" i awnserd on the verge of tears. "The police are looking for him. Give up jessica. He wouldnt want you hurt to" she told me. "Fine. Can you pick me up" i replyed slouching against a wall crying. "Course. Where are you?" she questioned. "Frankwell road" i replyed. "Stay where you are. Ill be about 20 muints" she replyed. "Thanks" i awnserd hanging up.

***end of phone call***

I sat there in the freezing wet ground crying. I wanted my big brother back.

Ben pov

I could see her. I went to go up to her.

"YOU DONT DESUVE HER! SHE WOULDNT BE CRYING IF IT WASNT FOR YOU!" the voice in my head shouted.

I didn't go over to her. As much as i wanted to. Then all of a sudden i had no controle as i went into a shop. I was scaird but i felt like a bystander. Theres nothig i could do.

I was helpless as i perched the knife. I was helpless as it  pearsed my skin. Again and again. "GO AWAY" i shouted to he voice. But they wouldnt listen. Thay wouldnt listen!

I needed to gain controle, i knew that. But i couldn't.