This boy cries

day 1

This boy cries chapter 19

It was the day of the trip. Yay. I wasn't looking foward to it but i had desised to go but only for 3 days not 5 as it would just make it easyer and less stresfull. Espesialy after last time.

***falshback***

"Chloe back off!" i snapped. "Why. Your mums fine with us" she replyed sipiing her body behind mine whilst she wrapped her legs around me and placing a kiss on my neck as i pusshed her off. "Back off" i snapped getting up. "Did the cristams party mean nothing to you!" she shot. "No. Jackscore. nothing. You were drunk!" i hissed. "You wernt" she replied. "Yer well you didn't give me a choice, you forced me. Both times at that" i sanpped back. "What makes tou thinks you have a chpice now" she replied biteing her lip and her strong arms pushed me against the wall. "Chloe no. This stops here!" i firmly replued. "I love you!" she awnserd. "You dont and thats the problem. 2 times now- NOT a third!" i awnserd. "Fine be like that" she awnserd puffing off as i went into the lunch hall.

As soon as i got there chloe had already spreaded lies. "I didnt hit her!" i hissed as the accusations got more and more. "Next time you do what i say" she hissed from behind me. "IM NOT LISTING TO YOUR BACK MAIL!" i shouted standing up. "First you hit her and then you make out shes the baddy" one of her closest frineds sanpped. "Ben with me now" the teacher snapped.

***end of flashbsck***

Falsh backs about mum hurt. But about chloe, she was the one person i hated more then mum. Once i got to school we got strait on the coatch. Kiran had said he could take me but i didnt want to be singled out, i could be anyway with the fact i was going home in 3 days. I knew i was over thinking it but i knew it was true.

The coach jeorny was long and tedious. There was so much noice and i tryed blocking it out with my ear phones but it failed. Drasticaly. It just turned into trying to stop noise with noise wich proved pointless as In the end it was just more noise. Despite all that, in the end, fell asleep.

***nightmair***

I was in a glass box, abaove the world. It was a samll box, going slowly. The glass was cold touch. Then i saw them. Both of them. Chloe and mum. They were floting. I drasticaly tryed to push te box away from them but it failed. I was heading towards them. Chloe stood one side and she was the otherside, both puhing the box. Laughing at my pain when i fell.  Shards of glass started to go into me as the thick glass spilnterd. Then suddenly hunter came. He hoverd on top of the box, stomping on the glass so he was in there with me.his face was so angry and he wakled closer to me as i steped back. Stupid ben. He pushed me though the glass as i fell helpess.

***end of nightmair***

I woke up in a state as everyone look at me. O no. "You ok?" a boy i didnt realy know asked as i nodded and everyone ignored me. Its insane how much people belive. "Right anyway were here" the teacher said as everyone cheared and we got off.

As soon as we got off we went into our room. We were all in dorms and i shared with a boy called logan who i didn't realy know but recomgnised as a shy boy in a few classes who id seen the odd time with kiran wich is proabably why we were both together.

We spent about 10 munits packing, neither of us saying much just the odd "ill take that shef if you dont mind"and other 'room related chat'. After these 10 munits there was a nock on the door. It was kiran. "Can i just borrow you ben, for a moment?" he asked as i nodded walking off.

"I know about the coatch jeorny what happend?" he asked. "Nightmare" i awnserd looking down. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. "It wasn't a flashback one just a random ones. Lasr time i had one like that it was a reoccuring one" i replyed. "Hopfuly not this time. My rooms right next to you and Logan's,  if you need me just nock, even if its the night you can wake me up. Ill be saying the same to logan" he said as i nodded walking back as kiran took logan out and i had time alone.

I carryed on unpacking my suitcase till everything was unpacked and orgnised. I hadent brang much and it never took me long to unpack. When i was first put into care i moved arround alot so i was a pro unpacker and unpacker. By the time logan was back in i helped him finnish unpackinging and it was lunch.  Yay. Sarcasm.

I went to lunch on my own when logan came over. "Do you um...mind if i sit?" he asked neversoely."corse" i said pusshing around some chicken arround my plate.

He scoffed his foo down pritty quickish. It was clear he wanted to speak, so did i but were were both hardly socil lepers. "Do you want to finnish my food off?" i questioned.

Id eaten a chiken fillet and 3 or 4 big roasreys. "You sure your not hungry?" he asked. "Im fine" i replyed looking down. "Thanks. I eat it"he replied as i nodded and we sat in sileance again. As much as him eating all this food made me uncomftable, in a weird kinda way it was nice to have someone there who was also quite shy, even if mine was a lot more then just shyness

After lunch it was our first activity. We only had one big one today and then loads of games and free time. The first one was a zipwier. We walked about 10 muinits away, till we got there. We then all sat in these light wodden huts wating. And wating.

At first we just listed to the instructer but then we had ago. It did look fun but i wasnt masive on hights,it wasn't a massive fobia i juat wasnt a fan of them. I was last and as i clmbed up the muddy steps everyone was tierd and impatient and i could feel the daggers of eyes begind me. Eveyone staring at me.

I neverslt walked up to he instructer and cliped my belt to the figure of 8 clip. Then nothing.

I couldng jump.

I couldnt move.

"Just hurry up!"

"Be a man!"

"We've all done it!"

"Why you taking so long!"

All of there comments shootimg at me. There thoughtless stupid commethis.as Insignificance as they were they meant so much to me. Too much.

"If you dont want to do it, thats fine" the instructer said as i nodded and he took the ropes off me and I walked back down the steps in shame.

Why hadn't i been able to do it. I'd just panicked. It was stupid. I was stupid. As i meat with the others, i got a few dirty looks but just sat by logan. "Dont worry about them. They know nothing" he told me.

Nither did he. No one did. No one knew what id been though. I mean yes, some people knew the storys but they didnt know how its felt. Hiw it felt to be born a mess.

Once bed time finaly came i couldn't be happier. I needed the rest, to turn off. Not that that Ever happned. I tryed to sleep bus as predicted i couldnt. I sat awake staring at the walls, trying desperately NOT to think of anything bad. It didnt work. Then when i finnaly got to sleep i had same dream as on the coach.

₪₪₪₪₪

I woke up scresming with logan still flait out and kiran sat next to me. "Whats wrong. Did you have a Nightmair?" he questioned. "Yep. Same on as on the coatch" i replyed. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked as i shook my head. "Do u want a drink or some fresh air or something?" he questuoned as again i shook my head. "Well if you need anything you know where i am" he said getting up. "Thanks" i awnsered. "No problem. Its my job" he replyed smiling as he walked off.

I then spent the rest of the night, like most nights trying to forget the dream and everything realy. But as ever it was impossible.