Moving On Is The Hardest

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Clarke's POV
For the past couple of days all I've done is cry myself to sleep. I haven't even tried to get out of bed nothing. I haven't shut anyone out because I usually fall asleep in Bell's arms, but I just can't get out of bed.

It just hurts. My brother wasn't just my brother. He was my best friend. I promised my brother though that I wouldn't shut anyone out and I'm not gonna do that. I get out of bed and walk into my bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.

I had blood shot eyes and my hair was a mess. So I stripped from the pajamas that I have been wearing for the past couple of days and stepped into the nice warm water. All I did for leaving the house was getting my arm cheeked out and I could finally get out of that stupid sling.

I took about an hour in the shower because I need one and I just felt good to take one because it's been a few days. I've just been really worked up and it's been hard. I also found out that my mom and dad are alive. I was happy, but mad at the same time. They hid that from me that they were alive for almost 7 years.

I put my hair up into a a messy bun after drying it with a towel and put on some shorts and a t-shirt. I walk into Elliana's nursery and see she's still asleep.

I smile and kiss her cheek

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I smile and kiss her cheek. I walk out of the nursery and hear people talking downstairs. I walk down the stairs and into the living room and all eyes point on me.

I feel like everyone is here. Noah is sitting in O's lap asleep, Bellamy is sitting next to O, Allie is on the other couch with my mom and dad.

"Hey princess." Bell says and I smile

"Clarke honey." My mom says smiling and gets up hugging me

I hug back, but not as tight.

Once she lets me go I go and sit down next to Bellamy. He puts his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him and kissing my temple.

We sit there for a few minutes in awkward silence. Everyone just stares at each other. Until Allie speaks up.

"How are you Clarke?" Allie asks

How am I? Really. I don't know if I should answer with the truth or just lie. If I lie they'll know I'm lying. If I answer with the truth they'll just keep trying to make me feel better and I just don't need that right now.

"I don't know." I say shrugging my shoulders

"We're here if you ever need to talk." My mom says

"I'm fine. Thanks." I say

"Clarke." Bellamy says

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