Anxiety is eating me alive.
I lay in bed at night and replay every lie.
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve
Now I keep that shit right where it's supposed to be.
Some things are just too cruel to let people see.
I can feel my heart beating from the tips of my fingers.
The past is dead but the memory still lingers.
Nobody said how badly this was gonna hurt.
I underestimated the power of my heart at first.
Forgiveness comes so easy to you,
but for me it's just a word.
I'll never be okay again and that's what makes it worse.
Needing you was a mistake.
A mistake that never came with the option not to make.
It's not my fault that I became this way.
You always thought that I'd get over all of it one day.
My mind is being held against my will and there's still no escape.
Lord knows I've tried to fix the damage that forced me to hate.
But I've yet to find a replacement for the pain.
It's killing me inside to know that you're okay.
I still carry around this resentment every single day.
It's gotten much heavier along the way.
But you'll never own that you're to blame.
Staring into the darkness each and every night,
I try to close my eyes but admitting defeat is easier than continuing to lose the fight.
You've made me a victim to my own mind.
I hope it kills you to know that your words still eat me alive.
Now everything I used to be is dead inside.
If I tell you that I forgive you,
You should probably know that it's a lie.
You don't get to have your feelings spared this time.
Pain feels pretty powerful tonight.
YOU ARE READING
One Thousand Tears
PoetryI've tried to release this pain in so many different ways; But writing about you seems to be one of my faves. I don't understand how I find closure When I know it only lasts until the poem is over. Somehow it feels like some sort of imaginary reli...
