One Thousand Tears

Revenge

There's so much about my past that I could never speak out loud.
Even if I wanted to... My lips wouldn't begin to know how.
The amount of pain that's followed me around for so long,
Is the only way I still convince myself that I'm strong enough to hold on.
The type of tragedies that I've endured at such a vulnerable age,
Define everything about the person I became.
The worst memories are the ones I can't remember.
No one was ever gonna save me,
so I must have just surrendered.
Somehow I've gotten pretty good at pretending that I'm brave.
But the truth is I'd give anything to stop being afraid.
I've come to accept the fact that they all think I'm just insane.
They'll never have to feel the way that I'm tortured every day.
There's not a single pill on earth that could ever cure this type of pain.
I don't speak about it.
I just pretend that I'm okay.
I stay awake at night, afraid that it will haunt my dreams.
It's already taken the good in me and replaced it with such evil things.
I can't even remember what I felt inside before I changed and started to doubt me.
Don't tell me that you understand what it's like to be afraid.
My fears are based on true events.
Yours are make believe.
I'm so done feeling guilty now.
I'm gathering my fears and I'm taking you down.
I wasn't strong enough then,
But I'm wise enough now.
I want you to know how it feels to be held down.
I don't want your pity.
I don't even want an explanation.
I just want to be free of the pieces of my memory that were put there without my permission.
I know you'll never comprehend the amount of damage that you left me with.
I just need to make it end,
so you're gonna have to pay for it.
I hope you choke on the words that you whispered in my ear.
You've turned me in to a warrior.
Now revenge is taking place of fear.