One Thousand Tears

...Again

Here I go thinking that I'm fine again.

Until you knocked on my door and forced your way in.

All this time I convinced myself that I could finally win.

I should've known you'd never let that happen.

Staring at my dinner plate

Trying to remember the last time that I ate,

But I throw it in the trashcan anyway.

You're trapped inside my head again.

You're stronger than I've ever been.

You're friction pulls me right back in

With that evil desire to make me thin.

I tried to get away this time

Before I let you cross the line.

But you know that I won't be fine

until I let you torture me just one last time.

Paranoia started kicking in again.

They're staring at my disgusting skin.

I can hear the laughter from a block away.

Everyone has so much to say.

You keep telling me that I need this.

You say it over and over until you know that I believe it.

Mirrors are my enemy.

The reflection isn't even me.

She stares at me and points out all of my flaws.

You tell me that I must fix them all.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Why am I the only one who sees what you are showing me?

They tell me that's all in my head.

But what else could they really have said?

The girl in the mirror is always sad.

She looks right through me, as if, I was made of glass.

She taunts me in the most painful ways.

Destroying all of the progress that I had finally started to make.

Now I'm back at the beginning again.

Begging you not to leave me this time because you've become my only friend.

No one understands what you have put me through.

No one hears your voice demanding me to listen to you.

I didn't choose to suffer like this.

But now I'm trapped inside the horror of your kiss.

I defeated you, not long ago.

I remember smiling as I watched you go.

Somehow we've crossed paths again

and this time I'm afraid you'll win.