RESCUED AND RISEN

Chapter 51

This was becoming more real as the days go on. I was more aware of my pregnancy now more than ever. I was starting to feel extremely tired now more often, and then there was the fatigue, the boob tenderness and a mass of other pregnancy symptoms minus the morning sickness-which I was thankful hadn't come yet. I was not sure how I would be able to continue hiding the fact that I was pregnant if that started. 

Being two months along, I was still the only one who knew this- well that's except for mom. She was the only other person who knew. I hadn't even told Katie and Nora about it as yet even though we hung out quite a number of time since I found out. I was still trying to get use to the idea of becoming a Mom.

Mom had been trying to convince me to tell Lucas about it but every time I remembered how he was, and that he obviously still had issues, I know I couldn't break such news to him right now. I was scared of what his reaction would be.

I was already having a hard time being around him. Every time that he touched me, it was like I froze. It just felt so awkward. And then the next issue was when I was trying to be intimate with him and relax at the same time. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, it was like I had a fear of sleeping with Lucas. It was like I stupidly believed he'd be able to tell. But that wasn't all, Lucas and I had already came to a mutual and natural understanding of sleeping with each other before but now that I was pregnant, I felt so guilty watching him get the condoms. What was that going to do now? What was it going to protect against? I was clean and I could assumed that Lucas was clean because I had came to realize that Lucas wasn't careless enough to leave himself unprotected to catch anything. So the only thing we would be protecting against would be me getting pregnant, which somehow already happened.

How could I tell this to Lucas? And I couldn't just stop sleeping with him like that without it raising some suspicions or something. I just felt like I was in a really bad place. One night Lucas was trying to be intimate with me, and for the first couple minutes I had allowed him and also reciprocate his advances- you know, returning his kisses and touches- but even though things were somewhat going smoothly, it was up until the time when Lucas was pulled out a condom package that I literally freaked out and got out of the bed. I know Lucas had been getting suspicious by my actions but when he mentioned it, I lied to him telling him that I just had a bad flashback of when I was still working at Alfredo's. He seemed to buy it for the time and didn't press the discussion any further but how long was I going to be able to keep this up and keep this secret? If I couldn't find it in myself to tell Lucas about what had happened, I had to try get him to allow me to leave. I didn't think I could do this secret thing anymore. Lucas wasn't stupid and pretty soon he was going to put the pieces together. I knew that mom's family so wanted us to fly out to Barbados for a while, and I was actually considering it. I had told mom about it but I just needed Lucas to allow me to go without any issues.

I was currently serving drinks at the club and I wasn't feeling too good right now. I was feeling tired and a bit dizzy.
I decided to go get some air after serving the last sets of liquors. I went through the side door and went out back where most employees would go to smoke. Fortunately for me, no one was out here. I sat on a bench that was out there before leaning my head back trying to ease the dizzy and nauseous feeling.

"Everything alright with you?" I heard someone asked causing me to jump a bit with fright.

"Gio? Oh uhm... Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just got a bit lightheaded for a second in there. Inside is a bit uh...stuffy." I replied after looking up and seeing him.

What was he doing out here? Did he follow me or something? Wait, if he saw me and followed me out here did that mean that Lucas was here also and may possibly be coming outside too?