Love on a Pole - Septiplier AU

Of Panic Attacks and Horrible Memories

Thank you @Sarcastic_Blonde615 for the wonderful idea! I hope you like the new chapter I got from your idea! :)

Cold. Sweating. Everything tastes of metal. Like I was stabbed and now I'm bleeding out. Dizzy. Numb. Like every fiber in my being was shutting down.

This, was a panic attack. I'm sitting here in the middle of my bed, breathing heavily, hunched over in pain. It feels like I'm having a heart attack, yet...not. Like my body was burning, but I was shivering from the cold. I felt like I was dying, but at the same time, I felt so alive. Like I knew I couldn't.

It was all over some dumb photo. A picture of a boy, with dark hair and blue eyes. Then it all came rushing back.

"What the fuck Sean?!" He screamed at me. There I stood, not making a sound lest I were to anger him. My phone was clenched in his hand, the screen cracked from the sheer force. I was terrified, my hands trembling by my sides. He raised his hand and slapped me. Hard. My head jerked to the side, my cheek stinging and warm. I looked back up, tears in my eyes.

"I-I'm sorry..." He then threw my phone to the side, the screen shattering more, and shoved me. I stumbled back, losing my balance and falling. I looked up, intimidated by him standing over me.

"WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?!" he growled. I scooted back quickly, trying to get away, only for him to grab me by the collar of my shirt. He yanked me up, pulling me only inches away from his face.

"I-I didn't t-think! I'm so s-sorry!!!" The tears were hot against my cheeks as they fell. He let me go, shoving me down so I was laying on the ground. And that's when the kicking started. Over and over he kicked me. In the chest, over and over again. I pleaded and screamed for him to stop, to end this horrible torture. That's when I heard the crack.

Pain was the only thing that I could feel. It flared up in my chest, through my spine, down through my legs. He had cracked one of my ribs. Then I blacked out.

When I woke up, it was in a hospital. Bruises ran up and down my body, and a thick cloth-like bandage was wrapped around my torso. In my sleepy haze I turned my head to the side only to see my abuser, his cheeks tear-stained and holding my hand. He had brought me here, though I knew that he lied about how I came to be this way. Something other than abuse. He looked up, saw me awake, and started speaking.

"Sean, baby, oh my god. I'm so so sorry hon-" I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"Don't..." My voice croaked out, cracked and broken from under use.

"Don't what?" He was being oblivious. I shook my head again and frowned.

"Call me that..." I whispered. I pulled my hand away from his and rested it in my lap.

"What do you mean?" He looked concerned. Nice touch.

"We're done James! Just go!" I croaked out hoarsely. I turned my head and coughed a few times, my throat dry. I was tired of being afraid, of being beaten. I watched as James' face hardened, the act gone.

"Excuse me?" he growled. Refusing to be scared anymore, I glared at him. Suddenly, he was on top of me, choking me. I reached up, weakly trying to pry his fingers away from my windpipe. I was gasping for air, though I could feel myself getting sleepier. Lack of oxygen would do that to you. My arms fell to my sides, feeling heavy. But in the process of my hands falling, I had knocked over and pressed the patient alarm. The last thing I saw before passing out was two male nurses dragging James away.

I buried my face in my arms, shivering and cold. I felt dizzy, my fingers felt tingly. My limbs were heavy, exhaustion taking hold of my thoughts. But I still had work. So regretfully, I rose from my bed and made my way to the shower, trying to wash away the remnants of my panic attack.

Twenty minutes later I was pulling on my right shoe, standing up once it was firmly in place. My heart was still pounding slightly, and my limbs still felt strange, but I was determined to work hard tonight. To push away those damned memories. Though once I got to the door, a slight knock sounded. Warily I opened the door, to see a man with dark hair and blue eyes. I gasped and staggered back when he raised his head to look at me.

"James?!"