Love on a Pole - Septiplier AU

Of WTFs and Look Who Made an Appearance

Mark and I are better. We'll never be 100% I don't think, but that's usually what happens, especially since one of us has depressive episodes that sometimes medicative help (aka me), or one of us has a newly healed leg that he's still limping on even though there's no need to (aka the wonderful boyfriend of mine that's currently laying his head in my lap, my fingers slowly carding through his hair). But we're better than we have been. Yeah, there's been some hardship, but if anything, it's only brought us closer together.

Mark knows about the self harming of mine. He helps, he supports me in any way that he can, even going so far as to sit in the lobby as I'm in my newly established therapy sessions and throwing out anything that I could potentially use to hurt myself (besides the cooking knives, because they were a gift from his mother and heaven forbid he part with them. They're really pretty though, I would never touch them). He's supportive of me, when I need it most he's always by my side, helping me through the self-deprecating voices that echo throughout my head.

And in turn I'm supportive of him. He's never outright said it, but Mark has a problem with his body and mental health. Yes, he does actually like to work out and he certainly acts like he thinks he hot shit, but I can tell he's not actually like that. Below that shell lies a man that has a problem with the way his body looks and has panic attacks whenever something doesn't go right. He's a perfectionist, and id something isn't right by just a 0.0001% then he panics. But I help him. I never cease to tell him how wonderful or how beautiful he is, nor am I ever afraid to help him down from a panic attack when his perfectionism is getting the better of him...

---3 MONTHS LATER---

We were dynamic, and it worked. I think that's why it all started to fall apart, I guess.

You see, more towards the end we just seemed to get along even more than we normally did. Seems fine right? This couple that sticks together and supports each other so much. But that's not how it felt. We were too wrapped up in each other. It was almost obsessive on both of our parts, to the point it was suffocating.

Our mutual friends had noticed it too. It was no longer stealing not-so-secret glances at each other while we worked, it was us disappearing into the back room to fuck at every moment we got. It was no longer a simple bit of jealousy when one of us was flirted with at the bar by some random drunk guy, it was us both becoming jealous if the other was talking to friends instead of spending time with the others.

It was no longer a healthy relationship, and we both knew it.

Inevitably we broke it off, my stuff moved from his overly large house-certainly too big for two people but a straight up mansion for one-back into my measly apartment, hating the fact that yes, I'll be paying rent again and the prices had gone back up.

I quit working at Hard Love. It would've been too painful to see Mark there in all his glory, probably living it up since he wasn't tied down to anyone anymore. I didn't even bother stopping by to say hello to some of the friends I had made there, like Dan and Phil or Alec and Magnus. They were really nice fellows, but I couldn't stand to see people so happy and in a normal happy relationship. They deserve to be happy, more than anything, but I wanted something mundane like they had, not something that would end up destroying me in the process.

Mark didn't even ask me about the thing going on with me. When he and I first started having sex, i was embarrassed for him to find out about me. That I wasn't actually a guy biologically. He never seemed to acknowledge it though, just seemed to want to get on with it. He never wanted to talk about it, and yeah I can understand that it's a really difficult thing to talk about with your loved ones, but "Hey, my boyfriend has a serious thing going on and I want to support him" never really seemed to cross his mind whenever I brought it up. I think that was another reason why I had to end it.

It was mostly the fact that somehow even though we were both wrapped around each other fully, he still somehow managed to cheat on me. With none other than that shitty sandy-hair-green-eyed-fuck that threatened me with a fucking knife. Tyler, I think his name was? Him. And I really thought that he was gone from our nick of the woods and off fucking some back-ass hippie in the forest. I don't care though. I was unhappy anyways, and this was just the thing I needed to pull away.

I'm done with one Mark Fischbach, and I'm gonna be my own person. Finally.