Alpha Xavier (Completed) 1st Book

Chapter Eight "I can't break down."

^Changed the name and cover^

I push him by his chest away slightly, my head tilting as I take in his features. Of course, just like every Alpha, he has his gorgeous looks. His wonderful genes setting in perfectly at every sculpture of his body.

"T-the pack.. we should get started on the uh-" I clear my throat, touching my braids self-consciously like I always do when I'm nervous before looking away from my mate as his beauty, remembering that I have a job to full-fill. "Uh, the plans for the revenged war against the Blood Pack."

"Alright.. hey Paris?" He asks suddenly. I look up through my long eyelashes, meeting his gaze.

"Hm?" I hum lightly, still playing with my braids.

"Your lips are bruised," he says chuckling a deep laugh. I look up and glare, making him stop immediately.

"Whatever. Not my fault-" actually it kind of is.. "Now, your plans for the war?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, walking upstairs slowly to make sure I don't trip due to my thoughts running a million miles an hour. I walk into my office, sitting in my leather chair before watching at Xavier sits in the one in front of my desk.

"Well, I know the Blood Pack is great with war tactics-" he starts off collectively, his hands clasped together in his lip with one leg over the other. I nod my head, agreeing slightly as I take a sip of my coffee that was here before I had sat down. "They have weapons that aren't as updated as ours, but they do have collective minds, sufficient at that too." He adds, sitting back as he thinks hard.

"They love a game," I state suddenly, remembering the way I ran freely once when I was fifteen, my wolf getting stronger by the days. I remember Alpha Lukas running after me, saying he was helping me train, but he just wanted to spend time with me. He told me that a few years later, but I had rejected him remembering his cruel ways. But when I had ran that day, he had followed. When I hid from him, he would always find me. Oh but when I left.. he'd always know where I was. He loved a game, and he always won them.

"When you run.. they follow, when you hide.. they find you-" a smirk started growing on my face as I look out the large window, staring at the woods. "When you left, they knew where you were. They love their games, and they always win." I add, my thoughts forming into words.

"So what you're trying to say, is that we'll never win the war?" He asks, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts. I turn around, my blue eyes turning black as my wolf begs to turn into her dark creature, taking my revenge on Alpha Lukas before turning blue again.

"No, not necessarily. I think it'll be hard, yes. But not impossible, I don't believe anything is impossible." I growl out bitterly, my mood changing for no clear reason.

I turn around, my breathing quickens as I think about my father. 'One day my little pup.. you will be a leader, a Alpha, a.. hero. One day, I will see as an older me, leading a pack through its difficulties, and becoming stronger. One day, I will meet you when you're older, and you will be everything I always thought you would be. Don't think, don't ever think that I will ever be disappointed in you.. I love you my baby pup, forever and always. Even when you're a full wolf, you'll still be my pup. I'll always be watching you, always baby girl, always.'

"Alpha Lukas, he's a very strong man." I begin, staring down at Xavier as I sit back down in my chair, looking at all the paperwork that calls for my attention.

"I can tell, but Paris-" I cut into what he says abruptly, raising my hand to stop him.

"My name is Alpha Paris to you," I say with a curt nod to tell him he can go on. He growls, glaring at me as he stands up and walks towards me, walking behind my desk as he does so.

"You're my mate." He spits out, making my eyes turn black at the disrespect he is showing me.

"I said, I don't give a shit if you're my mate." I spit back, standing up as we breathe hard from the anger fueling through our veins like the adrenaline that keeps us going, the need for us to relieve our stress is high right now. In my way to relieve my stress, I'd punch something. His way, I don't know and I could care less to know too.

"Well I do! I've waited my whole life to meet my mate, to take care of her, and show her how much I love her! And you're pushing me away after you accepted me? What is wrong with you? Why can't you get it through your thick, damn mind that I will always be here to annoy you even if you don't want it to. Get over yourself Paris! Or is it Alpha Paris? I don't even know what to call you. All I know, is that I came here for a damn deal to be made and have your hand in this war but you gave me so much more. You gave me my mate. So please, please Paris act like my mate for the first time in your life, act like you care!" He yells, pushing me while he screamed at me until my back is on the wall.

"I care," I whisper, looking up at him.

"If you do then you have a damn hard time of showing it." He says bitterly, running his hands through his perfectly colored black hair.

"I lost.." I whisper softly, looking out the window as my eyes glaze over.

"Lost what?" He asks, his eyebrows raised.

"I lost Alpha Lukas's game." I spit out, glaring at the floor. "You didn't just kill your parents. You killed mine too. I helped you because I knew what it felt like to have your parents killed. He was going to make you suffer for something they did.." I laugh harshly, pushing him so I was now pressed against the window, staring out of it carefully, examining the landscape.

"He killed my parents when I went out for a run, he was the beta so my parents trusted him. He broke the trust when I came back, looking into the window as he held the knife to my mothers neck, her neck already slashed and her eyes glazed over to mean she's dead.. He laughed with a crazed grin on his face as he murdered my parents, he killed them so when the time came.. I wouldn't be the Alpha and he would.. he murdered them because of me." I shook as my fathers smile came to my lips, a sob waiting to come out of my throat as I pushed the tears away.

I can't cry, I can't show him who I used to be, he can't save me.

I jump as I feel arms wrap around my waist, hands on my stomach as someone's head cradles my neck. "You're so strong.. so perfect. Don't ever blame yourself.. he's a cruel man Paris, this wasn't your fault." He whispers soothingly, as my body still shakes crazily as I push my emotions away (which I barely succeed at.)

"Don't act like you care.. I can't care for you or show it towards you Xavier.. I can't be weak. I can't.. I can't love you.." I whisper as a tear falls down my cheek for the first time in years, and falls onto his hand.

"Well, nothing's impossible right?" He whispers in my ear, turning me around and pulling me into his chest.

"I can't breakdown," I whisper to him.

"Do it, let yourself. No one will see it but me and if anyone dares to say anything if they did, I'll rip them limb from limb for you," he says soothingly, rubbing circles on my back.

And I do as he says.

For the first time since I was a baby and didn't know any better-

I breakdown.

❤:❤

So, how was this chapter? OMG it was like one mood change after another and I was like.. ahem ladies and gentlemen, I'm officially a horrible and ill writer who doesn't know what to do and how to do it.

Hehe, comment! Vote! 💭⭐

Much love!❤

💙Hailey💛

P.S. How's that cover ;)