Three Years Later~
Xavier's Pov;)
(Sad chapter so just grab the tissue boxes, milky ways, and keep your finger on exit button in case it gets too much;) haha it shouldn't be too bad, I'm just kidding with y'all!)
I tug on the ends of my hair frustratedly. Beta Brock has been handing me photos of women that need to be the potential Luna of my new pack.. a pack in memory of P- I can't say my mate's name, she's a painful but wonderful memory that sends my heart beating rapidly, butterflies going through my body, a smile on my face.. but once she was gone, so was my smile. My butterflies died, and I became numb.
Numb- this is when you feeling nothing, your limbs can't really move or you can't feel the feelings or life that once pulsed through your body.
Butterflies- beautiful creatures that people sometimes say you get in your stomach or heart when you're in love. You feel nervous when you know you've met the one, their love being the only thing you want.
Love- The feeling when pleasure is perfect and you don't want to ever leave the person ever, you feel like their your home, and I'd like to believe they are.
Mate- P... She was my mate. A mate is someone, well to me, someone that you could hurt over and over again yet they'll still forgive and love you. You feel what they feel, you love what they love, and you'll be who they'll be. You don't believe you'll live without them, but it's not really living if you're just surviving, right?
Pack- my pack is who I am. My pack is in memory of... Paris.
My packs name? Simple: Pack Paris of Strength.
"Alpha?" A high voice says from outside my office. My eyebrows raise confusedly front he unknown voice making me curious.
"Come in," I say roughly. Probably from lack of talking. Since Paris died on that beach three years ago today- yes today, the only person I've talked to his Beta Brock and that's only for small 'thanks' 'yes' or 'no.' Nothing more or less.
"Hello Alpha Xavier," a girl says stepping into my office. She looks around twenty-four, same age as me as she takes a seat in front of my desk and twirls her blonde hair around her finger. Her grey eyes look into my golden ones intently.
"What do you want?" I ask, looking back down at my papers. "I'm a very busy man."
"I'm Amanda- Beta Brock told me you'd love to see me and meet me-" She giggles, twirling her hair once again. "So I came here to see you."
"I didn't ask for you, so you can leave." I say gruffly, glaring at her before looking back down at my stack of papers.
"Leave? So soon? But- I can't leave.. I'm your mate." My head snaps up and I feel my eyes turn black. I lose control as my wolf- which hasn't spoke to me since that night unleashes and I shake, only seeing red as I growl.
"My mate died because of me." I growl, watching her giggle and wink flirtatiously.
"You're so sexy when you growl Xavier." Before I could stop myself, I shift and her neck is being squeezed slowly and painfully by my canines making her scream in pain, blood starting to fall out steadily.
I snap my canines at her, happy when I see her start to cry. "P-please let me go! I'll do anything please-" Beta Brock walks in and his eyes widen before he pushes me off and picks the girl up, leaving before I could attack him.
I wanted to kill her for saying such a thing. Paris and only Paris is my mate- and I will only ever love her forever.
Paris.. tears spill from my eyes as I shift back and I move to a corner, huddling in a ball of pain as I sob.
"Alpha?" One of Paris's pack members whisper, moving to hold my shaking body as I cry on the road, waiting, no- wanting a car to hit me. I could've stopped the bullet.. I could've stayed for her.
It's my fault she died.
"Leave me to die!" I scream, rocking back and forth as tears fall down my cheeks at an unknown fast pace.
"Xavier.. she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. You have to live.. for her." Tears threaten to fall from her eyes but she still watches me with soft eyes.
"I killed her.." I mutter, laughing bitterly in disgust for myself. "I killed the girl I love."
"You didn't kill her alpha!" She exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air frustrated.
"I killed her.. and I was the one who deserved to die."
"I killed her." I sob out, punching the wall behind my back leaving a large dent. Good thing they're metal.
"I love you Paris.. I didn't want you to leave me. I didn't want to leave you alone." I sob, my body shaking so much that I can't even feel anymore.
I mean, I've been numb for a while now.. right?
Three years, no mate. No mate, no life. No life, only surviving. Only surviving, pain.
"Please don't leave me.." I whimper, hugging my arms around my chest and hitting the wall once again.
"Don't leave me..."
~
Four days later I was found in my study, the bookcases surrounding my body. My Beta had came to see if my paperwork was done in my office but it wasn't there, and neither was I.
No, my paperwork that was so 'important' that it has taken up my life ever since I became alpha was found burnt to ashes in my fireplace in the study by yours truly.
And me? I was found without food or water for four days and that was done by yours truly too. I mean.. I just want to be with Paris.
They put me in a hospital where I have laid in a coma for a week now, and nobody has came to wake me up.
And to my sadness, no sparks have touched my skin when somebody's hand has touched mine.
YOU ARE READING
Alpha Xavier (Completed) 1st Book
Werewolf-Was called 'An Alpha's Luna'- A rogue, an ex-warrior, her names Paris Evans, a girl of many things. She gets to become a rogue, once she betrays her Alpha, a huge betrayal, one worth death. But she hadn't given one care when she learned she was bec...
