I sat in the corner of my room curled in a ball as I fought back the tears that stung my eyes.
Think Happy Thoughts. Think Happy Thoughts. Think Happy Thoughts....
I repeated in my head over and over again and again. I felt so alone, the darkness of my bedroom creeping in on me. As if they were shrinking, the walls began to close up and box me in.
My heart was pounding in my chest, my mind racing, I could feel the air in my lungs leave and not return. I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't remember how. All I remember was that fatal day you changed my world. I can't keep this up. I can't keep doing this. Reliving the same hellish nightmare day in and day out.
It all became too much. Everyone leaves. My parents. My siblings. Bands.... even the one person I never thought would, you left me.
I gasped for air remembering how to breathe after seconds without oxigen. I never understood how you could be so heartless....
I remember your stupid face and your stupid smile, the one that melted my heart every time you flashed it at me. The way your eyes always looked so full of hope, so innocent, so pure.
I remember how gentle you were, how sensitive you could be. I remember the way you always put up with my ill tempered bull shit!
....most of all I remember how much you cared, the words you'd use, always specific ones that you'd pick out just for me... I needed that back more then ever. Why did you have to take it from me???
I inhaled sharply, taking my final breathe. I sat in the bathroom tub, shower running, in nothing more then your old t-shirt. I'd leave this world just as you had. No one could stop me either.
I swallowed 2 bottles of pills and began to cut. Eventually everything went black. We could be together again. Happy again.
And we'll fly home,
We'll fly home,
You and I
We'll fly home
