The Assignment (Lesbian Story)

The Final Push

Chapter 27

(Alex's P.O.V)

**Four Months Later**

I sighed as I ran my hand over the cold bed sheets. It was eight in the morning and I had an hour before my shift began. I had woken up thirty minutes before my alarm clock because I had another dream about her. She was all that I saw when I closed my eyes. I still missed her so much and it's been months since I left her.

I sat up, allowing the bed sheets to fall to my lap as I looked around the empty room. I looked out of the window at the office building that was next door and looked at my lap.

I sighed as I ran my thumb over the tattoo that I had recently gotten on my arm near the inside of my wrist, inked vertically so that it was larger and filled the majority of my lower inside arm. Her name would always be written on me, reminding me of the heartbreak I already felt every day that I spent without her.

I reluctantly got out of bed and ran my hand through my disheveled hair as I went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. After fifth teen minutes I got out and put my uniform on. I grabbed my coffee mug out of the cabinet and filled it with coffee before heading down the apartment stairs and into the parking lot. I climbed into my car, turning it on only to be met by Tegan's voice singing Closer.

I quickly slammed my hand on the radio, turning it off, as I felt the heartache fill my chest again. It was so hard not being with her, because without her, my happiness was gone.

I slowly pulled out of the parking lot as the tears filled my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I wasn't going to cry today.

After a ten minute drive I arrived at the small family restaurant and walked in the back door. I smiled at the cooks as I walked past them and got my writing pad. I sighed as I clocked in and started my shift.

"Is your food alright sir?" I asked the elderly man that I was waiting on. "Um... It's a bit cold, could you heat it up?" He asked innocently. "Certainly, I'm sorry that it was cold." I apologized. I brought the food back to him after the chef had heated it and walked towards the back. After I checked to see that no one was watching I pulled out the pack of cigarettes and lit one with a sigh.

I hated that I had started smoking again but I didn't have Tegan to try and push me to stop. I took the breakup pretty hard and I'm guessing she did too. It was painful to go on without her and still is. I'm still expecting her to just walk through the door and hug me one day but I know that I won't ever see her again.

I can't just get on a plane and see her because I don't have the money for that and I bet she hated me. I would too. I told her I would never leave or hurt her and I ended up doing both. What kind of person does that?! I'll tell you who, terrible people. People that shouldn't be allowed to be happy. People like me.

I sighed as the emotions hit me like a high speed train and the pain in my chest came back. I swear I need to see a doctor about this. And to make matters worse, I stopped taking my anger management pills and have been feeling on edge lately.

I was basically ruining my life because without Tegan, life has been difficult. I don't wake up to see an adorable face and a caring smile anymore. I wake up to see a black wall. Without her, I don't even feel happy anymore. I can't tell you the last time I even laughed.

I sighed as I finished the cigarette and put it on the floor, stepping on it. I traced my finger over Tegan's name on my arm as I smiled down at it lightly. I had tried to get my boss to get me a long sleeved uniform so that I didn't have to look at it all day but he refused to because that was a stupid reason.