***Phil's POV*** still .-.
I show Dan into his room. He doesn't seem disapointed or anything, but I can tell he's upset. "Anything ring a bell?" I ask, trying to get him to talk.
"Um, " he studies his walls, his bed, everything, "No. Not yet." I wish I hadn't asked. He looks even more upset now.
I touch my greasy hair, "I'm going to take a shower, Dan," he turns to me, "Look around," I suggest, "Maybe-"
I stop talking because he looks sad again. I hate to leave him alone, but I haven't showered in days. He tries to smile, but I can tell it's forced. I turn and leave to get a towel and some clothes. Maybe he needs some time to himself.
I grab a plastic bag from the kitchen and tie it around my wrapped hand.
I'm guessing that I shouldn't get it wet.
I go into the bathroom, start the water, undress and step in.
The warm water and steam engulfs my body, and it feels sensational.
I can feel my muscles loosen, and my mind relax.
For twenty minutes, I'm able to get away from stress.
**************************************************
After I'm dressed, I brush my teeth really well and do my best to towel-dry my hair.
I step out into the cool house and grab some socks from my dresser. I don't like the feeling of being completely barefoot.
I see my bed, and I'm tempted to just take a nap for the rest of the day, but I can't.
Dan needs me.
Well, I need him.
I look into Dan's room, but he's not there, so I make my way downstairs.
I hear what sounds like Dan singing. At first, I think I'm imagining it, but when I get closer to the kitchen I'm sure. He's quietly singing, "You look so good in blue... You look so good in blue..."
I stand in the doorway and see him looking through the cupboards. If it wasn't for the bandage on his head, I'd think everything was normal. I stand there for a second, listening to him humming the tune.
Wait a second.
"Dan? Dan, are you singing?" It comes out sounding little more worried than I had hoped.
He quickly pivots around towards me, knocking over a box of cereal, "What? Jesus, Phil. You scared me."
I continue, "You were singing? How'd you know that song?"
He squints his eyes, thinking, "You know, I'm not sure. I guess I just thought of it, I didn't really think about-"
I pout, "So you don't remember anything else?"
He looks down, "No. Sorry."
I've made him feel bad.
Stupid, stupid Phil.
Why do I have to go and make things sad all the time?
"Hey," I walk over to the cupboard, "Want to make some food?" I try to sound cheerful.
He looks up and smiles, "Yeah, I'm starved." I get some spaghetti noodles from the pantry, and I tell Dan to fill up a pot with some water.
As we're cooking, I try my hardest to make Dan laugh. Every time he does, even just a quick chuckle, it brightens the kitchen.
He doesn't know how to make spaghetti, so he treats me as if I'm the Iron chef and obeys my every command.
Dan asks me about Chris and Pj, about himself, and about myself. I try to make his life sound good, but I try not to make him wish he could remember. I know he does, and making him long for it anymore would be cruel.
I ask him to get some cheese from the fridge, and he notices the piece of paper stuck to it.
"Lucy," he reads aloud. He opens the fridge and gets the cheese, "Is she nice? You know, a nice girlfriend?"
Now's my chance.
I can tell him how horrid she is.
How she cheated and lied.
But then I remember when I last saw her. She had told Dan the truth, and she really was worried about him.
There's no use in making her look bad, is there?
"Yeah, she's alright. I still need to tell her that you're awake..." I start putting noodles into our bowls.
He hands me the bag of cheese, "You have a girlfriend?"
God, I swear I almost choked.
I pause, "Uh, not really, no."
He nods, pouring sauce onto our food. We're silent for a moment.
It's not until we're sitting at the table that Dan speaks, "It's weird, I can't remember anything about myself, but I keep remembering songs.." he starts eating.
I think for a moment, "Well, It's good that you remember something. How's your head?" I take a sip from my soda.
"It's fine. I feel fine."
There's another silence.
It's so odd, seeing Dan in front of me, right here.
This is where I told him that I loved him.
That I was in love with him.
Where he started sobbing.
Where I was apologizing, over and over again, because I was the reason he was sobbing.
Where he stood up, "Don't touch me," he said.
Where he left to his room.
I can't stand it.
Everything was wrong. Everything.
It felt so right, but then he took it away.
It never should've happened.
Why can't I ever keep my stupid thoughts to myself?
"Phil? You haven't touched your food. You okay?" I look up at him, at his chocolate brown eyes. The kind of eyes you'd get lost in. The kind of eyes that I got lost in.
"I don't know," I squeeze my pants.
Stop, Phil.
You're only going to make things worse.
I gulp, "I'm okay."
I'm not okay at all.
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