*****Phil's POV*******
It's not hard to find her. She's sitting at a small table, sipping coffee.
I walk up to her table, but I don't sit down. She looks straight past me.
"Are you okay?" I ask, trying to sound like I care.
She doesn't move her eyes, "I don't know."
I'm done with your crap.
I huff, "What the heck, Lucy? You barely know Dan. He dumped you. I really don't get why you're even here!" By now, I was yelling, and I could feel people looking at me, but I don't care.
She looks up at me, and I look into her dark eyes. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't look angry, or embarrassed, or even surprised.
Why am I being so mean?
She's a person, too.
Everyone makes mistakes.
I should know that, of all people.
I pull out a chair and sit across from her. She looks down at her coffee and half-whispers, "I know. Don't you think I know that I shouldn't be here? I messed everything up." She bites her lip, making it white. "I know that I'm the reason Dan was mad at you," she looks up to me.
I don't say anything so she continues, "And I also know something else. I know you like him. I thought you liked me, but you never did. It was always him." she gives me a tiny smile, "And he likes you too, Phil."
It sounds strange, hearing her say my name. Saying that sentence.
"It's not your fault, Lucy" I say, before I can stop. "You don't want to be here. So go," I touch her hand that's resting against her cup. "I'll tell you when he wakes up."
She touches my hand back, and smiles again, but this one looks a bit more real.
She thinks for a while, and then she gets up and leaves. Then I get up too, and head back to Dan.
********************************************************
I go into the room and Pj gets up, "Hey, Phil. Can I have my shoes back, if you don't mind? Chris is back in town, but I need to pick him up."
I nod and take off his shoes.
After Pj puts them on he leaves, "'l'll be right back."
I sit in the chair by Dan's side. "Guess it's just us," I say,
I take my good hand, and grasp his.
We stay like that for a long time. My brain keeps putting memories into view, and I try to shoo them away every time.
I try making myself concentrate on Dan. His profile is drenched in sunlight, and through the scars and bruises, he's beautiful.
His wavy hair is resting on his forehead. His closed eyes are relaxed.
"I'm so glad I have you," I whisper to him, and myself.
But then a thought emerges.
I don't think I'll ever be good enough for you.
I sit up straighter and smooth out my wrinkled shirt, even though it's no use.
I always ruin things.
I flex my damaged hand, slowly.
You deserve better, you could do so much better.
So, why me?
I shake my head, trying to wash out the doubts.
But they keep coming back.
I don't think he'll ever love me as much as I love him.
Why would he love me at all?
I wish he was awake so I could see his giant brown eyes.
I'm so selfish.
I take my other hand, and hold his with both.
Don't let him go.
How did all this happen?
Why didn't I stop Dan from walking out the door like that?
I wish things would go back to how they were before.
Before all of this.
When we'd laugh and joke and when we were happy. I wish...
Stop.
I stop myself from thinking about it anymore. I don't want to cry again. If i do, I'm not sure I'll be able to stop.
All I can hear is the rhythmic beeping of Dan's monitor. That's all I want to hear. That's how I know he's breathing. I want it to beep forever.
But nothing lasts forever.
And before I know it, the beep is a tone, and the line is flat, and there are 5 doctors in the once quiet room, shouting orders and shooing me out of there.
My best friend is going to die because of me.
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Woah, deja vu much?
hi guise c:
things are getting saucy /.\
I had to change the first chapter part a little to f l o w . :)
tysm for all the reads and votes!! I'm almost at me goal of 100 votes :D
pls comment, vote, and add to YOUR library, oh and follow meh cos I follow back c:
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