A Love To Last A Lifetime

Chapter 28- Fears.

Hi guys, I hope you all enjoyed my last chapter, it was kinda a filler and updated after a long time. Guilty, again. But, I'll try to keep up with my update schedule.

Jennifer's POV

My breath got stuck in my trachea as I processed what was told to me. Everything seemed hazy as my world came crashing down. My knees buckled, leaving me with no support. Endless tears flowed. No, it was impossible.

Suddenly, my body burst with energy. I had to get there as soon as possible. I told him I'd be with him, that I'd never leave his side. So I ran, ran like I had gone bonkers. My slow feet were surprisingly fast today. People around looked at the crazy girl, wondering what had gone wrong. Boy, they had no idea.

There was still a long way to go. The pessimist in me telling that I'd never reach in time. But I dared not to believe in that part. Time was such a bitch sometimes. No, scratch that, always.

I had no time to cry. Running was my only goal right now. The white building appeared in front of me. I pushed open the doors. Everyone was bustling in and out. Going up to the receptionist, I wanted to say a lot but the words didn't come out of my mouth.

"Have a breath, drink some water."

I gladly took it and drank the whole thing. Regaining my composure, I could finally speak.

"Rogan Leroy, where is he?"

"Second floor, fourth room to the right."

I took the stairs, elevators were taking way too long. I jogged, trying to find that room. As I entered, I couldn't believe what I saw. My eyes fell on the love of my life, depending on an oxygen tank to breathe. I went near him.

"Rogan?"

His eyes fluttered open. The brown colour still looked bright.

"How did this..."

"This mor..." He coughed, I moved the oxygen mask a little to let him drink some water.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're gonna be completely fine."

"No, don't you get it? I'm not!"

"I'm sorry." My eyes welled up with tears again. I had just seen him yesterday and he looked healthy as a horse. Doctors had assured of a recovery.

"No, I'm sorry. I always make you cry, I've made my parents cry, everyone cries because of me. I'm such a bad son and I'm the worst boyfriend."

"You're not. Rogan, because of you, I've experienced love like no one else could, even if it was for a short time. You're my one, true love and I'll never love anyone the way I loved you."

"But you'll love someone, eventually. That someone will make you feel whole again. You'll hug him, kiss him, make love to him. Hell, he'll be your first time. Something I've always wanted to be. He'll be your husband, the father of your kids. And I'll remain as a figment of your imagination."

"How dare you say that? You mean a lot to me, more than what you think. And even if what you think would be true, there will always be a part of my brain constantly asking me, will Rogan be okay with this? I'll always love you and any chance I get, I'll come to you."

"I love you so much Jennifer Liaman. I don't want to leave you, this has always been my worst fear. Leaving you and my parents alone. I don't want to leave you alone. Please, save me, please..."

He began freaking out. This wasn't the right way to go. I held his hands and kissed him on his forehead. This was bloody difficult for me but I couldn't be so selfish. I rubbed our hands, warmth still radiating off of them.

"Just close your eyes and let it go. I'm here with you, not going anywhere else. Don't stress out, I love you, always remember that. And keep a watch over me from up there, you'd be my guardian angel."

As I opened my eyes to look at him, his eyes were closed. There was a constant beep sound heard from the ECG machine. He went away. I realised I didn't have to hold myself together anymore. I didn't have to be strong anymore. Because I was pretending to be that for someone who didn't exist anymore. I broke down, I didn't want to live anymore.

My eyes opened as I woke up with a jolt. It was a nightmare, just a bloody nightmare. Nothing else. I turned to confirm that Rogan was still beside me. He was sleeping peacefully. His hand was around my waist. The shock still prevailed, causing me to cry more. I tried to be silent but it was seemingly impossible.

My hand slowly caressed his face as I admired him. How did I manage to land someone so handsome and good-looking was beyond my imagination. A few tears fell on his cheeks, causing him to stir in his sleep. He was waking up. His eyes opened, I quickly turned around, wiping off my tears.

"Ahh, what time is it?"

"I don't... I don't know." My voice stammered. I still wasn't facing him.

"It's five in the morning, why are you still awake?"

"I just couldn't sleep, sorry I woke you up."

I was about to lie down again when he turned me around. His eyes turned wide as saucers when he saw my tear-steaked face.

"I'm okay, it was just a bad dream. Not a big deal."

"What happened? Talk to me."

"Oh god, you're making a big thing out of this. I'm fine, let's sleep."

"No, you're hiding something. Partners don't hide things from another."

"I had a really fucking bad dream."

"That bad?"

"I dreamt of..."

"Hey, come here." He enveloped my small figure in his strong arms. I wrapped my hands around his torso, never having felt this secure before.

"I had a nightmare about loosing you." I sniffed a little.

"Continue."

"You were so pale, so weak. I just wanted you back and you were slipping out of my hands."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" I asked, meekly.

"Promise. How can I go away when I've my parents depending on me? When my love wants me to be there for her every moment? I've so much to lose if I go away."

"I love you Rogan, so much. I don't know what I'd do if something like this ever happened."

"You don't need to worry. It's a gut feeling I've been having. We're gonna grow old together Jennifer. Promise."

He came forward to kiss me. But I pushed him away.

"Eww, I hate morning breath."

"And you're still talking to me..."

"Whatever, let's sleep now."

I lied down in his arms. He held me tight. His duvet that had fallen to our thighs was pulled back by me. I snuggled in his arms, loving the warmth radiating off of his body. Just a few minutes ago I was afraid of going back to sleep, frightened by my own fears.

But now, nothing mattered. Rogan was here, beside me. Even God would think twice before taking him away from me.