Hamilton Modern Day AU (Lams, Mullette, Jeffmads, Kingbur, Leebury, ect.)

Part 25

(Ok so this is another dramatic Jeffmads sh-t sad scene that I daydreamed up. Warning: self-harm)

(~Thomas's POV~)

I raced to the hospital to visit Madison again. They had sent me out last night and I had to see him. I had to admire his face and hug him and kiss him and hear his voice.

"I'm here to see James Madison," I told the person and she sent me in. I raced up to his room. He was now wearing a hospital outfit, the ones with short sleeves that were a really awkward shade of blueish green. I grabbed his hand and noticed he wasn't awake. I flipped his arm over so my hand could sit there without being uncomfortable, and what I say horrified me.

"Madison..." I whispered. There were small cuts along his arms, some were smaller than a fingernail, some reached across his arm. And higher along his arm was written in thick sharpie, "DIE" In jagged, messy handwriting. I brushed the scars lightly and came across one that was a little bigger than a fingernail that was new and fresh. "Why, Madison..." I whispered and looked at the other arm. It was just as bad, with the word "NO" written on it.

I couldn't take it anymore. "Madison!" I cried, shaking him to wake him up. I felt the tears in my eyes. He's so perfect. Why would he do this to himself?! His eyes fluttered open weakly and he groaned in pain, but once he saw my eyes track back to his arms and pulled them close to his chest.

"No..." Madison whispered, and I could see the fear in his eyes.

"Madison, why...?" I ask, and he looks away. "Why didn't you tell me at least? This is why you always wore long-sleeve shirts. Oh, Madison..." I reached my hand out to his face but he turned away.

"I know you hate me now and think I'm pathetic." I interrupt him by kissing him, and then I hold his face still with my hands.

"Madison... I would never hate you. You're the most perfect person in this world. I love you. Please, tell me why you did this."

He looks like he's going to cry too. "I-I don't know!" He cried, "I don't know, I don't know!" He closes his eyes as he starts crying loudly, still gripping his arms close to his chest. "I should have kill-"

"No Madison. No, no, no, please. Madison, you don't deserve to die. You really don't! I love you!" I cry back to him, cutting him off.

"Each one of these scars just proves I'm worthless and stupid!"

"What are you talking about, Madison! You're worth more than a billion dollars! You're absolutely brilliant!"

He shakes his head and now I worry he's going to start coughing. "Tell me why you did that to yourself recently. Please, Madison," I say, and he nods through sobbing.

"D-Do you remember when Alex a-and you fought a-a w-week ago?" I nodded and touched the small cut I'd gotten from a small dull pocket knife he had. "W-Well I wanted t-the wor-rry and p-pain to go a-away so while y-you walked I-I grabbed a k-knife, a-and it helped! And t-then when you g-got all beat up f-from those guys b-because you we-were protecting me..." He cut himself off with a massive wail.

"It's all my fault..." I whispered to myself. "M-Madison, I-I have to go, I have to get out of here..." I raced out, seeing Madison stretch out a hand for me as I ran out the door.

(blame whoever on wattpad who gave me the idea of having madison being a depressed little bab)

(hes a cinnabun im sorry)

(lets continue because dis fanfic has given me idea)

I race back to the hospital after stopping at my house and walking around. "I-I'm back." She nodded and I went up to Madison.

He was still crying. "Oh my God, Madison, I am so sorry... I... I just started freaking out and I had to walk around. I brought you something." I held out one of my smaller, warm long-sleeve sweaters. It's gray with a cat on it because my sister had given it to me as a teasing gift.

Madison's eyes light up and I see what I knew before this all happened. He hugs it and I run to get Starbucks because if your in a hospital you deserve frikin Starbucks.

When I got back up he was wearing the sweater. I scrolled through my phone pictures and looked at an old selfie of me with it on and then back at him.

Damn. He's so cute.... (Lin in the heights reference to Groff)

(poor madison bean ;~; word count: 768)