Discovering My Identity - PaperJam X Fresh (Underhigh fanfiction)

Chapter 15 - School Drama

I'm at the gym with the new guys.  They are in the weight room and I am at a punching bag, like usual.  I then swing my body and kick the punching bag before punching it repeatedly.  I then steady the punching bag and feel myself relax.  "Pj!"  I hear a girl's voice shout.  I look past my punching bag and then see Trixy there and all anger and tension just returns.  I roll my eyes before going and grabbing my towel.  "Pj!!!"  I hear her shout again.  "Go bug someone else Trixy."  I state as I wipe away my sweat using my towel.  "Just listen to me!"  She shouts.  I groan.  "Did he get a girlfriend?" I hear.  "Trixy... After what you said today I don't want to hear it... Because one, I don't even know you. Two you know nothing about me and three... I just don't want to see or hear you, because of what you said." I state coldly.  I walk past her.  "What is wrong with you?"  She shouts.  "Woah... If they are they had some argument."  I hear.  "What is wrong with me? Take a look in the mirror why don't you, plus... A lot is wrong with me."  I state continuing towards the patio.  

I am smoking on the patio trying to relax.  I finish my cigarette and sigh. "Hey, kid... Who was that girl?"  One of the gym managers says.  I turn to see Asgore.  He's also a part-time janitor at the high school.  Mama and him are really good friends apparently.  "I don't know she's a freshman at the school and she caused me to act out... I could have killed her..." I sigh. "I'm sure she is just lonely." Asgore laughs.  "Still... She said she was going to fix my issues... Ha!!! I've been trying to do that, myself."  I state coldly before taking a deep breath trying to relax.  "I saw your court thing... Mama showed me... That lawyer really pushed you hard, but you remained headstrong as always."  Asgore says.  "He only got three months for it, though... Because of the plea agreement."  I state.  "So that means he is already out."  Asgore says.  I nod slowly as I light another cigarette and take a long drag to try to relax.  "Kid... You have to learn to relax a different way." Asgore says.  I exhale the smoke and say "I know... It is... Just so much happened in such a small period of time... I just... I just don't know how to deal with it all without smoking." Asgore comes over to me and asks "Is it alright if I touch your shoulder?"  "Careful of my right one."  I mutter.  He touches my left one instead.  "You could try a hobby..."  He says softly.  "I workout and go to see Caramel on the weekends... Does that count?"  I ask.  "Working out is one... Yes.  Seeing that bear now... Isn't that you working."  Asgore says. "Yeah... It is also part of my therapy too." I say.  He pulls at my shoulder slightly and I freeze. "Sorry about that PaperJam... I forgot how sensitive you are when being touched."  Asgore says.  "It's fine don't worry."  I mutter continuing to smoke.  My breathing is shallow due to my shaking.  I burn out the cigarette and put the half-smoked cigarette with my other ones.  I am shaking and I am getting frustrated because of it. "Damn it..."  I mutter trying to keep still.  I am gritting my teeth and gripping the railing.  "PaperJam... Calm down... You need to breathe." Asgore says hugging me.  I take a deep breath to calm down. 'PaperJam... Trauma is something you cannot just get over.  It takes years to get over, sometimes people never get over it.'  I remember Gerson saying.  "Pj, where did you go?" I hear Asgore ask.  "Sorry I just started thinking."  I say softly. "I hate this condition and I am just... Trying so hard to get rid of it."  I add.  "PJ!!!" I hear someone scream.  I turn to see Edge and I freeze. Fear freezes me and I am shaking hard.  I see flashbacks and then I see Fell in front of me.  He is grabbing my shoulders pinning me to the railing. I can't hear anything and I can feel myself shaking.  "Calm down..." Fell says tears in his eyes.  I reach towards him and I hug him. "Fuck... Fell..."  I cry.  "Okay... There you are... Snap out of it now."  Fell says.  "There we are... Pj, focus on me... Focus... You are fine... Trust me... Just look at me."  Fell says.  I look up at him and nod.  I blink a few times and breathe heavily.  "Oh... It is my fault... I shouldn't have been talking about you know who."  I hear Asgore say.  I look past Fell to see the guy's backs to us.  "Back your asses up!!!"  "Nothing to see here!!!"  "Let us see!"  I hear.  "No, look at me Pj."  Fell says making me looking at him.  "It was just a minor freak out... Right? I didn't hurt anyone?"  I ask.  "No, Asgore had you before you started to freak out too bad."  Fell says.  I relax a bit more nodding.  I start to slump slightly, feeling exhausted.  "No, stay awake... Look at us." Asgore says. "Let's get you moving around again... You can't pass out on us."  Fell says helping me up. I'm not shaking at least, but I feel nauseous.  "Fell... I'm going to hurl."  I mutter.  The guys sigh hearing me.  "You shouldn't overwork yourself... You always get sick."  Asgore says.  I am so confused as the guys add on.  "I just felt dizzy is all."  I mutter trying to play along.