Discovering My Identity - PaperJam X Fresh (Underhigh fanfiction)

Chapter 19 - Please

We are entering the school and Fresh is by my side due to worry.  He is making me feel better.  "PJ!!!" I hear a familiar voice shout.  I turn to see Palette.  "Palette?"  Fresh mutters.  I rush over to him the same as Fresh.  "You shouldn't be at school.  Your soul was far too damaged to even be able to get out of the bed."  I say panicking.  Palette has tears streaming down his face suddenly.  I panic even more. "Are you in pain??? What happened and who touched you, I'll kill them!!!"  I panic.  He hugs me tightly and starts sobbing while shaking violently.  I hear gossiping.  "You, your boyfriend and Gothy plus his parents were the only ones who visited me... When I got home this morning... They sent me straight to school."  He sobs.  I feel angry now.  "Ink is dead..."  I mutter.  "Ink?"  He says through his tears.  I wipe away his tears and Fresh gives him a hug.  "Pj... Who's Ink?"  Palette asks.  "He's... Just a person I remembered I have to bully today."  I play off nervously.  "Yeah... I've got to bully them."  I mutter.  "That isn't nice Pj..."  Palette says crossing his arms.  I wipe away his tears. I then kiss his forehead.  "I know that... Just... Don't hurt yourself and text me if you don't have anyone to hang out with during the day."  I whisper.  I let go of him and turn to walk away.  Girls are looking confused at us.  "HE'S A PLAYER!!!"  "I'LL BE A SIDE HOE!!!"  "BONE ME PJ!!!"  I hear.  I sweat drop hard at that.  Palette rushes over to me and grabs onto me.  I then see them starting to form.  "Fuck this shit..."  I mutter.  I pick Palette and Fresh both up and take off running.  Let the chase begin...

Time skip...

We are hiding in the library.  It is closed but Palette had a key.  Suddenly the door is opening.  Palette rushes right past me and hugs the librarian.  I smile at that.  "He is definitely energetic."  I say.  Fresh is leaning against me tiredly, since he didn't sleep very well last night.  I move him into my arms and he falls asleep.  "Palette... Why are they in here?"  I hear.  "Pj and Fresh were the only two people to visit me other than you and your family."  I hear.  "Pj... Tell him... He deserves to know the truth... Please tell him."  Fresh says suddenly.  "I don't know how, Fresh."  I mutter.  "Just tell him straight up..."  He states.  "Fine... But only after I deal with my dad... Or... I should really say our dad..." I sigh.  "Tell me what?"  I hear Palette say.  I freeze.  Fresh crosses his arms looking up at me.  "Palette you need to sit down..."  I mutter. He comes over and sits down. "Your dad... Is my mother." I state shaking slightly. Palette has a confused look on his face. "But my dad... He can't be a girl!!! He's a guy!!!"  Palette says. "He can switch genders with a bat of an eye." Fresh answers.  "How do you know?"  Palette asks. I blush bright pink. "My genders also switch... I got that ability from him."  I mutter.  Palette is silent for a long time.  I am getting nervous then I feel a hand on my hand.  I look to see Palette holding it.  He hugs me and Fresh.   

Time skip...

I tracked Ink by his phone. He's at Dream's place. I get angry just by seeing it, but I keep calm.  I then go up to the door and knock.  Suddenly Dream is at the door.  "PaperJam?"  He says.  "I need to speak to Ink."  I say softly.  Dream nods and says "Come in."  "I don't think that would be a good idea... I'm too violent to be in a house."  I state.  Dream frowns hearing that, but nods.  "I'll get him."  Dream says.  "Thank you."  I say.

I have to wait for a few moments and I am putting all my words together in the meantime.  The door opens again and Ink is talking to Dream.  Ink then sees me and he gets angry I can tell by his eyes. I only feel sad and hurt at the moment since I dealt with my anger.  Ink steps out and closes the door behind him. He then slaps me.  I just take it and a tear rolls down the opposite cheek.  "Is this... Who you are now? Is this why Palette can't have a dad where he feels loved just by a single glance?  I understand you are trying not to mess him up... Like how big a mess up I was... But... CAN YOU AT LEAST LOVE HIM!!!"  I say while holding back tears.  Dad is staring at me wide eyed.  "Just take care of him, make him feel loved, like he can go to you for anything!  Absolutely anything. Make sure he doesn't feel like he has' to hide things from you, because it tears out a child's soul when they feel like they can't trust anyone... Dad... Please... I don't care if you hate me, and if you never want to see me again... Just please, keep him happy, keep him carefree, don't let him loose that light that shines behind his bright green eyes.  Don't let him fuck up his life so bad he can't turn it around... Make him feel loved... Please... Please... Please..." I cry, tears falling from my eyes.  I then start to leave having it been too silent.  I look up to see Dad with tears in his eyes.  "Jammy..."  He says and goes to touch me.  I just shake my head.  "Just... Be there for Palette... Be there for when he needs you the most, even if it may seem like a small thing..."  I say controlling myself with anger.  I control myself and stop myself from crying.  "Just tell him you love him... Care for him and always be there for him from now on... Do that for him..." I say wiping away my tears.  "Just promise me, you'll raise him... Better than you raised me... That you'll love him harder than you loved me... That you'll teach him harder than you taught me... And that you'll keep him safe... And make sure he doesn't feel like he has to run away.  Because I never want to see him where I have ended up."  I say then walk past him.  "Wait!"  Dad says grabbing me by my shirt. I stop moving.  "PaperJam...  I love you too... You're my first born after all... Palette was born a year after you were born... Me and your father had gotten into an argument a few months after you were born.  I left you with him so you two could bond.  Then me and Dream got together.  Me and Dream didn't work out so I went back to your father.  I left because... I had met Palette when Dream came over with him and then he told me... I... I just wanted to be a part of his life PaperJam."  Dad says slowly letting go of me.  "I understood that since the first second I found out you went to go be with your other kid... But it still hurts, that I wasn't sat down with and told... No... I was told through text... I wasn't given an explanation... And it was all so sudden and I hadn't seen you since court... But... I understand... I understand why you left.  Just... Don't hurt him."  I mutter.  I then start to walk away.  I then make a portal to the other side of the antivoid.  

I just sit there and start drawing the world I wanted again.  I bring the whole drawing to life around me after finishing.  I'm controlling things with strings and then I destroy the small universe having it becoming painful for me to watch.  The whole drawing is gone.  I hear a gasp behind me and I look over my shoulder.  I see a Sans there.  I don't recognize them.  "Who are you?  I don't remember making you."  I mutter.  They run away from me and I use a string to catch them.  "Hey!!!"  I say before grabbing them.  I bring them back towards me and I hug them.  "Please don't leave me." I beg.   They don't struggle.  "I love you."  It says then turns to dust.  I get freaked out by that.  

Time skip...

I haven't left the antivoid and the dust just keeps piling up.  "What the fuck is that!"  I hear.  I'm surrounded in my depression and I destroy the new universe I made, due to it being imperfect.  Dust flies everywhere and I am shaking as I am laughing madly.  "Is that the Destroyer?"  I hear.  I then do one swipe of a paint brush and there is a new world surrounding me.  It isn't detailed or anything.  There are a few trees and a few people.  "No that has to be the Creator."  I hear.  I then destroy the universe and more dust flies everywhere.  "Not... Good enough... It's never good enough."  I mutter.  Suddenly there is a portal and there is shouting "Last place he'll be!"  I keep trying to create, but then I just tear it all down.  I then see someone staring at me.  They come over to me and I am ready to attack.  "PaperJam..."  I hear from behind me.  "Kid... Where did you learn to create and destroy?"  I hear.  I remain silent.  "PJ!!!" I hear.  All the voices sound the same.  I then see someone familiar but they are crying.  "Pj... Snap out of it!!!"  I see them scream.  "Fresh!!! Move!!!"  I hear someone scream.  There is so much screaming.  'Fresh...'  I think snapping out of it.  "He won't hurt me... He won't hurt me..."  I hear.  My strings are wrapped around him and his soul.  I pull him towards me.  He is wincing and holding himself defensively.  I pull my strings off of him and they drop to the ground.  I am staring at him horrified of myself.  "Fresh..."  I mutter.  He looks up at me and he goes to hug me.  "I... I... I almost... Al... most..."  I say shaking hard.  "You weren't yourself... You zoned out again... And you didn't hurt me... I am fine see... Nothing broken."  He says coming close to me.  I keep him at arms length from me.  Fresh grabs me and hugs me tightly.  I crumble to my knees hugging him around the waist.  "It's okay... I'm fine and you are fine..." Fresh says smiling at me.  He hugs me tighter.    "Pj..."  Fresh says and I start to sob into him.