I still have regrets.

Chapter 4 Joining the team

Natsu POV
I slept horrible. The kissing scene was playing at repeat in my mind. I hate how he looked at her. I could be so mad, but I have no right to be. I got out of bed. Happy was shocked to see me out of bed. "Hi Natsu, are we going to eat breakfast together?" "Nah, still not hungry Happy. I'm taking a shower though." He nodded, looking sad. I took a hot shower and felt refreshed, I looked better than yesterday. I said weird stuff to Gray but so what. Then after I dressed myself and Happy finished eating, someone knocked on my front door. I walked towards it and opened it slightly. There stood Lucy and Erza. "Hi Natsu." they both said. "Hi." I said. "You're up, I'm shocked." Lucy said. "Yeah, it is better than sleeping, although I can't sleep." "Do you guys want to come in?" "We came and get you to go to the guild? Are you ready?" "Yeah, I'm ready. Happy you're ready?" "Aye sir." He came flying at us and we all walked together to the guild. Well Happy was flying. It felt for a slight bit like the old days. But I know that's never going to happen again.

"Natsu, are you trying eating at the guild? I mean you haven't eaten in days." Happy said in in worried tone. "You didn't eat for that long? Are you still ill?" Lucy asked and held her hand at my forehead. "You're warm but not warmer than usual." she said. "I can't hold the food inside for long, but I'll try." I told her but she looked like I said something crazy. We came at the guild and it was rowdy as ever. It felt like I came back home. Some random guys were fighting probably about nothing. Erza walked to the bar ordering a strawberry cake. Gray was stripping. Levy was reading. Gajeel was bothering Levy. Droy and Jey getting angry at Gajeel. Wendy and Charle were talking to Romeo. Wow, what Gray was stripping. God he is hot. But I had to swallow hard after what I saw next. Juvia was running after Gray. "Gray-sama don't strip, you should only strip for me." I didn't like the sound of that. I didn't greet them I walked as soon as I could past them to the bar ordering something light to eat. I had to be strong. I ate, and I was glad it stayed inside. I wonder for how long though. Suddenly Gray came with Juvia to the bar. I though he was going to say something about not greeting him. But he said something I didn't see coming. 

"Erza, Natsu, Lucy, Happy I want to tell team Natsu something. Actually I want to ask something. I get Wendy as well stay here a minute." Gray walked away to Wendy. Juvia was standing in front of me acting very nervous and shy. Then Gray came back with Wendy and Charle. "What did you want to ask us Gray?" said Erza. She was dead serious. "I want to ask if it is okay if Juvia joins team Natsu. I mean she is my girlfriend after all." That hit me hard. Not only the joining part but MY girlfriend. I went silent. Lucy answered "Yeah of course. You're more than welcome Juvia." Erza looked mine way worried. She was expecting a response from me but I didn't respond. Wendy said "I'm glad if Juvia-san could join us. We are in your care." After saying that she bowed. Erza sighed and said "I only think she can join if everyone agrees." What is she saying, is she expecting that I will say no. I will be the rude one. I can't do that. Happy said "Juvia joining is okay, aye sir." Charle said "I agree with tomcat." "Natsu? What about you? Do you also agree?" Everyone stared at me. I felt sick already. I didn't want her in our team. But I will be rude right if I refuse as only one. My thoughts kept going forward and backwards. I wasn't realizing I kept silent for a long time. "Oi flame brain, did you damage your brain of what? Say your respond, the question wasn't that hard, even for you." That stung, but it brought me back in reality. My stomach hurled. I had to hurry up if I don't want to puked on them. "Yeah, I guess the more the merrier." I said I tried to say it in a happy voice. But it was a forced monotone voice. "Yea thank you Natsu-san now I can join Gray-sama in all his quests." After that was said I ran to the restroom again. It was too lovey-dovey after all. I puked my food out all of it. What have I done, now I will see them together all the time. I don't know how long I can stand this. I mean I have to eat eventually. 

Someone came inside the restroom again, I hoped it wasn't Gray. But of course it was him, I mean Karma is a bitch. "Oi flame brain, what's wrong with you? You can't handle any food or what? Did the food pit of a stomach of yours broke or something?" "If that was the case I would be much happier. Idiot." "Oi, I'm trying to help you." "I didn't ask for it." "That's right. What is with you lately? You're acting strange." "Are you on repeat or what, stop asking the same question over and over again. Use your brain for once." "Jeesh don't be such an ass. I'm worried about you man." "Whatever." "What took you so long to respond back there?" "I don't know man, I'm..I don't know." "What are you?" "I don't know man stop asking stuff. I'm just not myself lately. I don't know how to explain it." "Try it." "No, I can't. Not to you at least." "What do you mean by that?!" "That if I tell you, you're going to be an ass about it and won't stop bothering me about it." I was getting angry and mine voice was getting louder and louder so I continued. "Every single one of you guys is pushing me in saying it. You. Lucy. Happy. Even Wendy. Stop it! It is annoying!" I yelled. After that I puked some more. Not that there was anything left in my stomach, so it was more like dry heaving. "Oi, but you trusted Erza right. Why her?" "She is the only one who understood me and guessed it herself. She didn't push me in saying anything. But she didn't stopped trying." "What do you mean didn't stop trying? We all did right?" "No, not like her." " What do you mean?" I sighed. "When I isolated myself Lucy and Happy came at my door and wouldn't stop asking me stuff, it was annoying. Erza sometimes just sat there, just talking not asking anything and sometimes just sitting there. And you, you didn't even bother to do anything until I came back already and at that point you just asked a whole lot of questions. Annoying. But the worst part is you are not doing it for me." "That is harsh man, of course I do it for you." "No you don't." "What are you talking about of course I'm worried about you too." "No you are not. You have a girlfriend, why should you bother yourself with your rival. Someone you don't even like." So he heard it that day after all. "You're only doing it because guilt is eating at you." "Guilt?" "Yeah don't play stupid with me. You feel guilty that you didn't come by. That you don't understand what's wrong with me. You're self-centered so you think it is all about you. That's guilt Gray." He was left shocked again. I left the restroom, but I didn't intend to leave the guild just jet.