I still have regrets.

Chapter 11 Panic at the guild

Natsu POV
We walked towards the guild. I wasn't speaking to anyone. I was getting really nervous. I didn't want to know their reaction. I wanted. Aargh. I want to go back but I don't want to at the same time. Erza came walking besides me, she was talking to me but I didn't comprehend a word she said. It was like my whole world was mute. I couldn't hear her. I was still wondering how the rest would react. After a while Erza tried to shook me to look if I was listening. I looked towards her but didn't say or do anything. I just walked further with my head somewhere else. I was worried that some might not be happy when I return. Or that some are too happy that I return. That I will get overflown with happiness. I mean I'm glad if they're happy. But I don't think I can handle that much happiness yet. I'm still not my usual self.

Then Gray came walking besides me. He was talking to me as well. But my world was still mute. I was looking at him the whole time actually. His facial expressions were quite funny. I didn't understand a word he said though. He waved his hand in front of my face and said something. I just smiled and walked further. Would Happy be glad I'm back? Why wasn't he on this mission I wonder. How will Lucy react? I mean I was kind of mean towards her. Will Gramps be angry that I left. Or would he understand. I don't know, it is too much. Levy will probably be happy because she sees Gajeel again. Mira is always smiling, she will be glad. I hope. Some of them maybe didn't notice me gone or something like that. Maybe some of them will get angry. But the one I thought would be angry was Erza, and she was pretty calm actually. Will I be alright. If everyone will react like Erza I will be alright. I mean they are here with me. Erza said she would keep the guild members at ease. But I still feel anxious it's been a long time. Or that's how I feel.

Gray POV
While we are walking back Natsu is surprisingly silent. I haven't seen him this silent in a while. No I never seen him silent before. Erza walks towards him and started talking to him. Although I couldn't hear what she was saying I had the feeling he wasn't responding. Weird. Then Erza shook Natsu and screamed "Do you hear me at all Natsu?" He looked towards Erza, but wasn't responding. Erza gave up and he just walked further like nothing happened. After that Erza came walking towards me. "Natsu is in deep thoughts, try if you can talk to him. He isn't responding towards me." Weird Natsu in thoughts, I mean sometime it doesn't look like he has a brain at all. But he is definitely using it now. I walked towards him and said "Hi Natsu how are you doing?" He was looking at me, but not responding. It is just like Erza said. "Everything will be alright silly." Still no reaction. Mmm.. "I love you." Still no response. "Still anxious?" No response. "You will be alright Natsu, the guild will accept it all. Just relax." No response. This was irritating me. I'm going to say something that will upset him maybe he will react then. "Baka, is that brain of you even working?" He was still looking at me. But he didn't answer. I was getting angry. "Are you deaf or something?" I waved my hand before his head. Looking if he was responding at all. "Somebody home?" I screamed this time. He just smiled as reaction towards me and walked further like nothing happened. "AAArgh, what's wrong with him?" I yelled pulling at my hair.

Wendy came towards me. "Let him be Gray-san, this behavior of him is the same when we started this journey. Natsu-san is deep thoughts or something like that. Probably he will not respond until we are at the guild. Or maybe he won't respond there as well." Wendy said. I was shocked, this resembled him when he started this journey. He didn't speak to them at all. "Was he like that the whole journey?" I asked Wendy. She looked towards me then towards Natsu. "No Gray-san. Actually when we started this journey he was worse than now." "Worse in which way Wendy?" "Do you really want to know Gray-san?" I gulped. "Yea I kinda do." She sighed. "He was like now not responding but he couldn't smile at all, he didn't even look at us. He was probably crying the whole time. He didn't want to rest. He didn't fight back when Laxus-san or Gajeel-san got angry at him. His whole expression was lifeless, like he was dead. It was scary sometimes Gray-san." I sighed. He was hurting so bad because of me. "Why would Gajeel or Laxus get angry at him then?" "Well actually, they were getting angry that he wasn't responding or looking them in the eyes. So when they reached their max, sometime one of them hold him at his collar and screamed at him. Still no response then. They even hit him. But he didn't budge. Like he didn't notice anything around him. So yea, there were quite sometimes when they started a fight with a non-responsive Natsu and I tried to separate them. We told you it wasn't easy on any of us during this journey." Wow, I never expected that Natsu would be like that. "So I'm actually happy Gray-san that he talked when you found him back. And also that he is smiling now. He may not be his old self but he is clearly recovering. So probably now Natsu-san is anxious about returning to the guild. I suppose Gray-san." "You're a good friend to him, you know that." I ruffled her hair. She had a blush on her face. "Thank you. Gray-san."

Erza then yelled "Almost home!" "Yea!" we all responded well, everybody expect Natsu. Natsu was standing still looking at the massive building, he was solid frozen on the spot. I walked towards him. "Everything alright?" He didn't respond. He was intensely looking at the guild. His eyes were getting big. His body was shaking. I took his shoulders. "Oi respond. Are you okay?" He looked scared in my eyes. But didn't say anything. I could understand why Gajeel or Laxus had fights with him if he was like this even worse than this. Gajeel came walking towards me. "I think you need to drag him there. He-he." Gajeel said. I sighed. "I will then." I took a hold of Natsu his hand and was pulling him. He was resisting. So I took him with both hands and started to pull he was still resisting. He was mumbling something, but too soft for anyone to hear. I sighed and let him go. He was started to walk backwards. Chicken out right? Oh no, you're not running away Natsu. I grabbed him before he could walk further away but he resisted, he made it so that I was on the ground and he was still standing. That was when Laxus and Gajeel nodded towards each other. They both walked towards Natsu and took him. He resisted, but Laxus was sick of it so he bolted some electricity not to fierce and hit him in his gut. So Laxus could throw him over his shoulder and carry him inside. For a moment I was glad I wasn't Natsu.

But at the same time I felt guilty towards him. Erza sighed. We walked inside the building. Erza yelled "Master we returned with Natsu." All of the guild members looked towards the door and were glad when they heard that Natsu was with them. Natsu was resisting at the grip of Laxus. He was trying to get away from here and was even hitting his back. Gramps came downstairs and walked towards the group. "Laxus put him down. I want to see him." "Yea old man, but I will have to hold him." Laxus said. "Why Laxus?" "He is trying to escape." The whole group that returned with him sweat dropped. "It's okay Laxus, just put him down and hold him." Natsu was put in front of the master like he told he would. Laxus had a solid grip on him. Natsu was panicking. He was looking everywhere and was scared to face gramps.

Natsu POV
At the entrance of the guild I froze. I couldn't move I was scared, I didn't have the guts to continue anymore. All the worst case scenario's where playing inside my head. I was slowly panicking. Gray was taking my hand and wanted to lead me inside, I didn't want to. So I resisted. I stood firm on the same spot. Then he tried with both hands but I wasn't giving in. I whispered "Please stop, Gray.." But I saw that they didn't hear it. Gray let go of me, he was giving up I thought. So I walk slowly backwards, I was too afraid to go inside. Gray grabbed me so I couldn't go further away, but I wrestled with him. I won. He was on the ground and I stood still on the spot. Then I saw Gajeel and Laxus both walking towards me, I didn't know what they were planning but I was too slow. Gajeel had a hold of me and Laxus gave an electrified punch in my gut. I bowed of the pain in my abdomen. At that moment I was grabbed and tossed at the shoulder of Laxus. They were walking inside. I was panicking. Still my world was mute. I was resisting and all those negative emotions came back. I squirmed around in the arm of Laxus. But his grip was solid. Then I got from his shoulder and he put me in front of gramps. 

At that moment it was like my invisible headphone was taken off. All kind of sounds were coming back at me. But louder than I was used to. I was panicking. I didn't want to look at gramps. Laxus was still holding me at that spot. I heard people yell "Natsu." "He is really back." All kind of remarks like that. I couldn't follow where they all came from. "Natsu my child." Gramps said. I was shocked it sounded so close and so loud. "I'm glad your back. Are you alright?" "G-Gramps. L-loud." I try to say but the whole guild was overwhelmed with sound I couldn't hear anything I say. It was like I was super tiny. At that moment it became too much for me. All member wanted to ask things and come closer to me. I wanted to get out of here. Before gramps could ask me anything I collapse. I hear many call my name but it was black all black and then the silent came back to me.